


Forgive Me, Father

by PadacklesBitches



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Jared, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hate Crime, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, Priest!Jensen, Priests, Rimming, Top Jensen, Violence, homophopia, hurt!Jensen, priest!jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2019-10-18 13:17:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17581577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PadacklesBitches/pseuds/PadacklesBitches
Summary: Jensen Ackles has been a priest for twenty three years.  He loved his path, loved his work, and everything was right in his world until the new priest, Jared Padalecki joined the parish.  Can Jensen keep his feelings buried? After twenty three years will he give up his love for the church for his love for one man?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to @alltheshrinks and @lotrspnfangirl for being my awesome betas. I love you girls. (check out their stories on AO3 as well!)
> 
> feedback is love. 
> 
> I'm more nervous about this fic than the others I have written, so be gentle!

 

 

Father Jensen Ackles had been working under Father Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Monsignor Robert Singer for going on four years. He’d previously done work at churches in the greater Dallas area, even a few in Austin, before moving to Houston and settling in at Saint Patrick’s Catholic Church. He took immense pleasure in being able to help the smaller, inner city church get kids off the street, and brought more members into the parish with his stunning looks and humble personality. Father Ackles was a good priest. He worked hard, devoted himself to his parish and his faith, and had a way of making people feel loved and special. He never felt like there was anything missing from his life.

Not until Father Jared Padalecki walked through the door.

Father Ackles was a stunning man. He stood just an inch over six feet and had a lean, muscular frame. His brown hair shimmered with reddish highlights brought on by the sun and his eyes were a stunning shade of green that varied from catlike to that of an emerald stone. In a single word, he was beautiful. The women of the congregation would come to mass just to listen to his deep, soothing voice and admire his beauty and the men admired him as well once they saw his brute strength and athleticism. He was well loved and respected in his role.

Father Morgan looked at him more like a son than a colleague and would often tease him over breaking the hearts of every women in the parish by wearing the collar. Jensen would laugh it off, knowing that there was a much deeper secret buried under his collar, one that he’d hidden for so many years he didn’t often think about it anymore.

Monsignor Singer had just put in for his retirement, and Father Morgan was to replace him. Father Ackles would be the priest residing under the monsignor, but that meant calling up another priest to assist at the parish. Father Morgan was excited when they got the call that it would be Father Jared Padalecki from San Antonio, already hearing good things about the younger priest. He was only a few years younger than Father Ackles, and Father – Monsignor -- Morgan figured young blood might be good to draw in more parishioners to raise funds in order to help renovate the old dilapidated building and quarters they were dealing with in the less than affluent Houston town.

It was a Tuesday morning; Monsignor Morgan was a few days into his new role as the head of the church and with they help of Father Ackles, they were reviewing scripture for the Wednesday evening mass. Occasionally they would get parishioners or passersby in the chapel, making their way into the church with hushed whispers to their loved ones as they knelt on the pews, not disrupting the priests. Each one would then nod and quietly dismiss themselves Midway through the day, the doors opened and in walked a man wearing a pair of worn jeans and a red and black flannel shirt. Father Ackles looked up from the altar and his mouth went dry.

This man was gorgeous. He was at least a few inches taller than Jensen, possibly pushing 6’4” or 5”. His long, lean legs carried a beautifully shaped body with broad shoulders and longish chestnut hair. His eyes were captivating. Jensen couldn’t breathe, he’d heard that his eyes could be catlike in color, but this man’s feline eyes were like looking in a kaleidoscope. The blues, greens, and gold shimmered even in the dim lights of the church, and Jensen felt something brewing in himself he hadn’t felt in twenty-three years. He felt desire.

It terrified him.

Monsignor Morgan cleared his throat, snapping Father Ackles out of his stupor. He gave him a slight look of concern before turning to the young man before them.

“Can I help you, son?” Morgan asked.

“Yes, Father. My name is Jared Padalecki, Father Jared Padalecki. I’m looking for Monsignor Morgan.”

“Well, you found him,” Morgan said, stepping down from the pulpit and offering his hand. “Good to meet you Father Padalecki.” Father Padalecki grasped his hand in a firm handshake and smiled shyly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t wear my vestment, I didn’t mean for there to be confusion. With the parish I came from, we didn’t wear it all the time. Only when we were working in the church,” Father Padalecki said, blushing.

Morgan smiled. “Don’t apologize, son. We’re pretty casual here as well, you’ll see Father Ackles in jeans more than in robes. I swear sometimes he does it just to get a rise out of me.”

Father Padalecki then looked up to the altar and froze. In his thirty-six years, he’d never seen a more beautiful human being. Father Ackles stood there in his black pants, black shirt, and collar, staring at the younger priest like a deer in into headlights.

“That’s Father Jensen Ackles,” Morgan continued. “I plan on having the two of you working closely together on a few projects, and we can discuss and arrange which masses you’ll preside over. For now, welcome, Son. I think you’re gonna like it here.”

Father Padalecki flashed a bright smile at Monsignor Morgan, two deep dimples on display along with the bright eyes that looked as if the sun shone straight out of them. Father Ackles still hadn’t moved. It wasn’t until Monsignor Morgan cleared his throat to catch his attention that he drew his eyes away from the sunshine that lit up the church.

Father Ackles finally gathered himself and stepped down to greet the new priest. “Father Padalecki, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he said, his deep voice rattling Jared to his core.

Jared offered his hand and Jensen accepted. Their skin touched and Jensen could’ve sworn he felt an actual electric shock. They both smiled brightly and released each other, maybe a little too reluctantly, and stepped back to look at their mentor. Monsignor Morgan smiled, though a bit strained, and said, “Father Padalecki, Jared, let’s get you settled. Jensen and I can help you move in your personal effects.”

It took the three of them only one trip to move Jared’s meager belongings to his new quarters. It was a small room that seemed rather damp, set in the back of the priest’s quarters.

“I’m sorry Jared,” Morgan said. “The living quarters are something we’re trying to fix, but sadly the funding just isn’t allowing us to fix things quite yet.”

“It’s no trouble,” Jared smiled softly, “I’ve lived in far worse conditions.”

Morgan and Ackles shared a look, knowing there was more to that story. But neither one wanted to pry or make the new priest uncomfortable. They helped set up his room, Jensen and Jared sharing small smiles as they passed one another in the cramped quarters.

“If it makes you feel better,” Jensen said breaking the silence, “my room isn’t much better. It’s just a little, uh,” he glanced around the room, “drier.”

“Welcome to Saint Patrick’s, Father Padalecki,” Monsignor Morgan said. “It’s not much, but here, we’re family.”


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Jensen Ackles decided to become a priest at a young age. He didn’t go to find himself and he didn’t go to college, like most of the kids he went to school with. He’d been raised in a very strict Catholic home and his parents were beyond devout. When Jensen graduated high school and told his mother and father he wanted to go to seminary school, they wept with joy, professing how they’d never been more proud.

Jensen was a smart kid. He was an athlete and popular, well liked and handsome. Some would even say pretty. He lived for helping people and pleasing his parents; he knew that taking a position as a priest, going to seminary school, would make him loved and accepted in his family.

Yet, Jensen had a ‘problem’ in high school. Being a terrific athlete, he played baseball and was a part of the bell guard during the football season – and no, despite what some would argue, he was not a male cheerleader. Jensen found he wasn’t attracted to the pretty cheerleaders or the girls who constantly fawned all over him. He didn’t try to get to second base with Kelly or Sarah, because he was too busy looking at how Shawn’s ass fit so perfectly in his baseball pants. He was paying attention to how the biceps on Gil glistened when he went to swing the bat.

Jensen knew his preference.

He kept it quiet, never said a word or let his eyes linger too long. Not until Matt Cohen, with his tan skin and dark hair, transferred into his school. Matt was a catcher on their baseball team. Jensen was a pitcher, so they worked together often.

When Matt asked Jensen to stay after school on a Friday, a day they didn’t practice, to work on some pitches, Jensen didn’t think anything of it. He said yes, knowing the new kid probably wanted to get used to his slider. Matt met him at the field and they played catch for a bit, then Matt stood up and approached the mound.

“You really gonna ignore this?” the stunningly handsome man said. His sharp features and soft skin distracted Jensen from thinking clearly.

“Uh, ignore what?” Jensen mumbled, dumbly.

Matt dropped his glove and pulled Jensen in, kissing him, gently. His lips were so soft. Jensen was midway through his senior year and had managed to not kiss anyone yet. His friends teased him, blamed his strict upbringing, but Jensen knew this was why. He knew it wasn’t a girl he wanted to kiss, but the soft plush lips of a beautiful boy.

Jensen dropped his glove, his hands slowly and so nervously making their way to the back of Matt’s head, when a car horn blared and didn’t stop.

The two boys broke apart. They were panting, shocked, and the look of terror in Jensen’s eyes was palpable. Jensen looked over to see his older brother Josh sitting in the driver’s seat of their mother’s Honda and felt both relief and utter fear.

Jensen grabbed his glove and ran to the car, slinking in to the seat and refusing eye contact with his brother.

“Jensen?” Josh said, his voice uneasy.

“What?” Jensen mumbled, still refusing to look up.

“I saw you, man. I-I saw. You can’t... you know. You just can’t. Mom and Dad, dude…” Josh blew out a shaky breath, shaking his head quickly. “They’ll disown you. Jen, look at me!” Josh exclaimed.

Jensen raised his tear-filled eyes to meet his brother’s.

“I know, Josh. I know. It won’t happen again. Don’t worry.”

 

 

Two weeks later, Jensen applied for seminary school. Josh never spoke about what he saw, and Jensen and Matt never practiced together without the team again. The school year ended and Jensen left, leaving his parents filled with pride and his brother looking at him with what seemed like heartache.

Seminary school was good to Jensen; he made friends, learned how to become a compassionate and hardworking priest, and he focused on burying his desires. He never allowed himself to think about Matt, the feel of his soft lips or the way their tongues tangled together all too briefly. He built a wall around that memory and never tried to access it. He knew his place was in the church, that he could overcome the attraction he had to men. For twenty-three years, he did just that.

He worked hard and quickly made a name for himself, working with inner city churches, building them up and making them safer. He’d been to several over the years and everywhere he went, he was well loved by his flock. He jumped at the chance to work under Monsignor Singer and Father Morgan, as he’d heard amazing things about them. He was excited for the opportunity to move to Houston and work under two men that were so respected in the Catholic Church.

He loved the congregation at St. Patrick’s, looked up to Monsignor Singer and idolized Father Morgan. He’d been part of their family for four years when Monsignor Singer put in for retirement. He was over the moon that his mentor and friend would be taking his place.

They celebrated Monsignor Singer, and as he left the church, he hugged the two priests and thanked them for making his last several years so easy and enjoyable. Monsignor Singer was moving back to his home in South Dakota where he grew up, and as they watched the tail lights disappear, Fathers Morgan and Ackles sighed and smiled at each other.

“I hate to see him go, but he deserves to rest. He’s done his part,” Morgan said fondly.

Jensen nodded, patted his superior on the back before turning to head back into the living quarters. He was glad to move his stuff from the small, damp room, desperately in need of repairs, to take over the room that was formerly Morgan’s.

Morgan chuckled. “Couldn’t get out of there fast enough, could you?” he teased.

Jensen scoffed, “Oh please, you had your stuff moved before Singer even left.”

Morgan chuckled again. “Only because I know you wanted out of that room, but you know the new guy is gonna have to suffer through it.”

Jensen’s eyebrows drew in. “Well, I paid my dues. Besides, we’ll be renovating soon, so his room won’t always be cold, damp, and musty.”

Morgan laughed out right, shaking his head. “You sound like a bratty child, Jensen. Come on, let’s get you moved.”

They spent the day moving and arranging their new rooms to their preference, then reunited in the chapel to prepare things for the following day’s mass. It was business as usual.

They carried on with their duties and began making plans for the future of their ratty old buildings. They were set to renovate the church itself, first, having collected donations over the last several years. The church would be getting new pews, new stained glass windows, their floors fixed, and a new altar. During the construction inside of their church, mass would be held in the community building next to the chapel. Currently, it was used for the members of the parish counsel to meet and where they held CCD for the children of the congregation. Jeffrey and Jensen were not excited about this particular part, but they knew the church renovations would only take a few weeks.

Despite the changes being positive, Jensen was a bit sad. He loved the old church. Sure, it needed updates, but the beautiful structure and stained glass windows were a favorite of his. He loved the Bible stories depicted in art, mesmerizing when the sun shone through. He hated the idea of seeing the old art pieces go and tried to argue to keep the windows. Jeff made a valid point in showing him the chips, cracks, and bowing that they’d suffered.

“They’re beautiful, but they’re broken. Renovating them will cost more than replacing them. We can ask for the same art work, but it might be nice for a change,” Morgan stated.

Jensen smiled sadly. “I just really love the confrontation of Michael and Lucifer, it’s so beautifully done.”

Jeffrey smiled. “You always gravitate towards angst, you realize that?”

Jensen gave a lopsided smirk. “Guess I do, don’t I?”

The priest and Monsignor continued with their normal duties, reading each other’s sermons and helping to find the perfect passages.

That night as Jensen lay in his new room, he thought to himself just how far he had come, how giving himself to God and the church had been the right path for him. He went to sleep peacefully, which was a good thing, because just a couple days later his whole entire world was going to be rocked.

Jensen did mass on Sunday morning and ran the youth group meeting in the afternoon, something he did monthly. He played basketball inside the attached school playground in the evening with some of the wayward neighborhood kids that came for the guidance and love they were so severely lacking at home. This was Jensen’s favorite part of the job. He loved working with kids, loved steering them in the right direction. He didn’t quote scripture at them, didn’t preach to them, he listened. He heard what they said and he did everything he could to help improve their lives.

Father Ackles was popular with the youth in the rundown neighborhood, which helped to keep crime down in their area. It was a rapidly spreading problem, and although it wasn’t to the level of gangs and other inner city’s crime rates, it was rough enough. Father Ackles never judged them, nor did Monsignor Morgan. Kids who didn’t belong to the church often stopped in to talk or just for a few quiet moments. They were never turned away.

Jensen started the youth group for these kids in particular.

Sure, the members of the church encouraged their kids to be there, but it was open for anyone in the neighborhood who wanted to learn about faith. It didn’t hurt that there were always snacks and activities available. Jensen worked his lessons into fun projects or games for the kids and the youth group grew over the last four years.

The new priest would be helping him with the youth group, so Jensen prayed they were sent someone that understood kids. Or at least liked them enough to want to listen and not judge, guide but not demand.

The new priest, Father Pada-something, was going to split the masses with Jeffrey and Jensen, assist with the youth group, as well as assisting the other priest at their monthly board meetings and office work.

Monday was uneventful for Jensen. He went about performing his normal duties, had a young couple come in for pre-marriage counseling, and scheduled a few baptisms and weddings. He assisted Monsignor Morgan with whatever tasks he needed throughout the day and then spent the evening watching television with him, some show he’d become fond of about two brothers who hunted evil in the world. Then, he read for a while before falling asleep.

He didn’t dream. He didn’t feel different. He had no idea his world would be forever changed in less than twenty-four hours.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

Jensen spent the first few days showing Jared the ropes. He was nervous and awkward, and Jeffrey kept casting worried glances in his direction. He was off kilter, kept blushing and stuttering every time the new priest was around. Jensen informed the young priest that they would be sharing the responsibilities with the youth group and Jared beamed. Jared was great with children and he knew that he would earn Father Ackles’ respect doing this. 

The first time the two priests worked together with the kids was a Sunday evening. Father Ackles introduced him to a room full of skeptical teenagers, but within minutes Father Padalecki, “Call me Jared, please,” had them eating out of the palm of his hand. Jensen watched in awe. It took him _months_ to earn the kids’ trust and here this man walks in and has it in minutes. Jared had a way with the kids, Jensen saw that right away. He knew that this working relationship would be extremely easy if he could get over his sudden and unwelcomed attraction to the younger man.

Jensen set up the activity for the evening, watching Jared from the corner of his eye. He’d been focusing on trying to get the kids of the neighborhood to think about the future, so he decided to have them break into small groups and perform skits. Groups of four or five was manageable for them to talk about things they’d like to do in the future and then come up with a two to three minute skit incorporating their ideas.

He and Jared wandered around the room talking to the forty or so children in their care, giving them advice and guiding them on how to incorporate such different ideas. It was meant to be fun, and knowing these kids, funny. However, by the end of the evening Jensen and Jared both fought back tears.

These kids had _real_ dreams.

Some had completely unrealistic dreams of being a rock star, or a movie star, but for the most part, they wanted to be teachers, firemen, EMT’s, doctors. It shocked them to even see that a couple wanted to be police officers and priests, fields they felt would be the last thing these kids wanted. Their skits were funny and heartbreaking. They revealed parts of themselves in a non-threatening way and Jensen and Jared were so proud of the young kids by the end of the evening.

“Okay, guys. That’s it for tonight. I’ve got to say, I am so proud of you all. And those of you up for the challenge, I will be on the basketball court tomorrow at 4:00,” Jensen said winking at the kids.

Jared sat up in his seat, excitement in his eyes. He played basketball in high school, but he didn’t want to interfere with Jensen and his kids. Not a moment later, Aidan, a boy about fifteen piped up, “Father Ackles! Can Father Padalecki come play too?”

Jensen faltered for just a moment; the only one noticing was Jared. He cleared his throat. “Uh, sure, if he’d like to… Father Padalecki, you up for some hoops tomorrow?”

He had a slight tint to his cheeks that in another life Jared would find adorable. In this life he tried to pretend not to notice. “Yeah, although you might be upset, I was scouted for college before I was brought to seminary school.”

 

 

Jensen didn’t sleep well that night. Something Father Padalecki said was nagging at him... He noticed, but doubted anyone else did, that the younger priest said he was ‘brought’ to seminary school. That sent up flags all over for Jensen. He knew how certain people devout in their faith could be and knew some kids didn’t have a choice. But he also saw how much Jared loved what he did, so he was unsure if there was ever regret in his choice to stay.

Jensen couldn’t get Jared out of his head and it was starting to drive him a little crazy. He knew the Monsignor was noticing him flailing about and messing things up that he never had. He needed to keep it together. He needed to do something to _stop_ thinking about this extremely beautiful man that was thrown at him. He was sure Jared didn’t feel the same way...

Jared avoided him when they weren’t working together, hiding in his damp, dark room, or going over scripture alone. He seemed to only be around when he was needed, and as much as Jensen appreciated it for his own sanity, he felt like he was making the younger man uncomfortable by his long looks and doe eyes.

The next afternoon he was at the court at four, as promised. Six boys showed up to play, and as they were trying to figure out teams, Father Padalecki showed up wearing gym shorts and a thin t-shirt. Jensen’s mouth went dry. He grabbed his water bottle and downed nearly half of it.

“Okay, Padalecki, let’s see what you’ve got,” he tried to joke.

The boys split in even teams, Jensen on one, Jared on the other. They thought it was only fair to block each other, being that they were the biggest, and, as the kids liked to tease, old.

The game went on for over an hour. Jensen was out of breath, but not from over doing it. No, he was out of breath from having his body pressed against Jared. He blocked the younger man a few times, but Jared was amazing on the court and Jensen swore at one point when their bodies collided that Jared lingered.

Those thoughts were forbidden! He tried to bury them. He felt like he was going crazy with Jared’s sweaty, hard body pushing up against him. It was all Jensen could do not to succumb to an erection on the court with a bunch of teenage boys. He willed himself to calm down, but by the end of the game he was done.

He grunted goodbye to the boys while Jared and his victorious team cheered. A few of the boys voiced concern about Father Ackles leaving so abruptly, but Father Jared, as the kids called him, teased, “He’s just old and tired, not used to having to really work out here!”

The boys laughed, but Jared knew there was more to Jensen’s early departure than the loss. Jared promised the boys he would show them some of his tricks later in the week, but for now he had to get back to work.

Jared was only a few minutes behind Jensen. He walked quietly into the chapel where he heard Jensen talking to Monsignor Morgan.

“Jeff, I -- we, I don’t know. I need guidance. I think I might be having a crisis of faith or something,” Jensen said, his voice hushed and sounding desperate.

Jared knew nothing about the other priest. They’d only worked together a few times as of yet, and all he’d figured out about Father Ackles was how closed off, though not unfriendly, the other priest seemed. He stood quietly, waiting for the Monsignor’s reply.

“Jensen,” Jeffrey said, “you’re like family to me. You’re not just a priest, not just a colleague, but like my son. I can see you’ve been struggling lately, so, let’s talk. Come to my office in the morning. I have confession after that to attend to, but we can discuss your problems first.”

Jared saw Jensen nod, then watched him walk thought the dark hallway that led to their sleeping quarters.

“Jared, I know you’re there. Come here, son,” Jeffrey said.

Jared stiffened. He felt like he’d been caught spying. He hung his head as he approached his new mentor.

“Yes, sir,” he said softly.

“Jared, you shouldn’t lurk around, but since you were, I urge you to understand. Father Ackles hasn’t been himself lately. I’m sure he’s fine, but don’t hold his tendency to be aloof or cold against him. He’s actually one of the kindest, warmest people you’ll ever meet,” Jeff said, voice strong and sincere.

Jared nodded. “Yes, sir, of course. I just don’t feel like he likes me much. I saw him with the kids, and I’ve seen his warmth. I just feel like he might see me as an obstacle or something in his way.”

Jeff chuckled. “Oh, I doubt that is the problem at all. Let me talk to him, I can figure out what’s getting under his skin. Jensen is one of the best, and I know if he’s struggling, he will need guidance.”

Jared nodded, bid his farewell, and walked silently to his room. Upon opening his door, he realized the room was wetter than normal. It had rained for a few days before, and despite this day being sunny, it seemed that the water had crept into his quarters. He caught the monsignor as he was heading to his room.

“Monsignor?” Jared nearly squeaked.

Jeff turned, eyebrow raised. “Yes, son?” he replied.

Jared looked sheepish. “I hate to be trouble, but it seems my room is, well, nearly flooded.”

Jeffrey came to inspect Jared’s room and noticed how it had gotten much worse in the few days since Jensen had left it. There was about two inches of water in parts of the floor, and all of Jared’s belongings were up on desks or chairs.

“Jared, why didn’t you tell me you had flooding?” he asked.

“Well, sir, I didn’t want to be a bother,” Jared replied.

Jeffrey rolled his eyes. He walked down the hall and stopped two doors later, knocking on Jensen’s door. Jensen opened it, wearing a pair of sleep pants and a tank top.

“Yes, is something wrong?” He looked disheveled, and Jeff knew he’d been curled up in bed reading a novel, part of his nightly routine.

“Hey, Jensen. Listen, I know that you were really excited to get this room and move out of the damp room, but, well, that room is flooded. Jared is going to need somewhere else to stay. I’m going to pull his bed in here for tonight and we can figure out the rest tomorrow, okay?”

Jensen nodded dumbly as the color drained from his face. He wasn’t sure how he could deal with being so close to Jared without wanting to touch or taste the younger man. He prayed to God that he would guide him and give him strength as Jeff and Jared pulled the single bed into his room.

That night, Jensen didn’t sleep much. He tossed and turned and kicked at his blankets as if they’d offended him in some way. He was angry. He was confused. He was feeling things he thought he had repressed, and it was driving him crazy. Jared didn’t seem to notice. He seemed to fall asleep with no problem, the only sound that he was in the room was a soft, almost peaceful snore. Jensen hated him a little for how well he seemed to adjust to change, until about two am, when Jared started moaning in his sleep.

“Mmm, yes,” Jared sighed.

Jensen perked up, not having slept a wink. He tried to decipher the mumbles from the man in the bed next to him, but could only make out moans occasionally, which did _not_ help his problem at all.

 

 

Morning came all too soon, something Jensen was grateful and irritated for. Jensen had slept maybe two hours total while Jared was wide-eyed and smiling across the room. Jensen kind of hated him and loved him at the same time. He shook his head.

“You seemed to sleep well,” he grumbled.

Jared frowned. “You didn’t,” he said. Not a question, but an observation. It made Jensen even more uneasy.

“No, I don’t do great with change, and you talk in your sleep!” he snapped.

Jared stared, confused, but slightly irritated. “You just had to wake me up, man. I can’t help what I do in my sleep.” His tone was cold. Jensen knew the younger priest was already on edge around him, feeling like Jensen didn’t like him much. Jensen tried to be polite, but he knew he was coming off cold.

“I gotta meet with Jeff soon,” Jensen mumbled, climbing out of his bed and grabbing his vestment. He disappeared into the adjoining bathroom to shower and dress. When he emerged, the other priest still sat looking confused, slightly hurt, and mildly annoyed. Jensen nodded at him and left the room. The quicker the better, in his mind.

He met with Monsignor Morgan in his office. Father Ackles sat across from the desk and lowered his head with the heavy feeling of guilt he’d been carrying.

“Jensen?” Jeffrey said.

“Yes, Monsignor,” Jensen replied stoically.

“Jensen, we need to talk. There’s something going on with you. This isn’t official, not yet, but if we need to go there I will. First and foremost, my job is to make sure this parish runs and is taken care of. That being said, I know that this isn’t the issue. So tell me, son. What’s eating at you?”

Floods of memories slammed Jensen. Before he could even reply, the tears of those floods started leaking from his eyes. Jensen confessed to his superior why he opted to join the church as opposed to college. He told the Monsignor about Matt. He told him everything, endless tears streaming down his face. He told Jeff how he felt like a fraud even being at their church now that he had these feelings again. He confessed how he had hidden them for twenty- three years and thought he could forever.

Monsignor Jeffrey Dean Morgan sat back in his chair, silent and watching him. Jensen expected the worst. He expected to be told he was an abomination, that he was not loved by God, that he wasn’t worthy, that he was unclean. To his surprise, his superior, his friend sighed.

“Listen, Jensen, everyone sins. Everyone makes decisions that alter their lives. Am I happy you’re feeling this way? No, but I love you, as God loves you… and son, he does. You weren’t made by accident, boy. You just need to figure out what’s more important to you. You need to figure out _your_ path, not what you think other people expect or want. You’re a fantastic priest, but besides that, you are a _good_ man.

“Find yourself, Jensen. Get back to me when you do. I won’t say anything or do anything until that time, but you need to figure this out. _You_ are the only one who can.”

Jensen nodded and his head hung down in shame. Jeffrey shouldn’t have been so forgiving, so accepting. Jensen hated this feeling burning under his skin, this feeling that he knew would hurt people he loved. But he couldn’t help it. Before he left, he told Jeffrey he would take the morning confessions. He felt like it was the least he could do.

Jensen sat in the confessional, listening to the parishioners who came to seek forgiveness. He gave them their penance, one at a time, waiting several moments in between. He knew the time was almost up and started to get restless, he figured he had one more left before he could go.

Jensen heard the soft sound of someone entering the confessional beside him. He heard the sigh of a man, some deep ragged breaths, then a voice that he knew all too well, “Forgive me father…”

 


	4. Chapter 4

Jensen recognized the voice on the other side of the screen and he inhaled sharply, biting his tongue to keep his control. He made himself take a deep breath and waited. 

“Father, I had these urges as a teenager, but I thought I had suppressed them. I thought... I don’t know what I thought, but I walked into this church and I felt like a flood consumed me. I saw this man… I saw this beautiful, _perfect_ man. The thoughts I had immediately were of a sinful nature.” He took a shuddering breath and released a choked-out sound before beginning again. 

“I figured I could hide it. I believed I could let it go. I thought that learning about this man would make him less appealing, but... I was wrong, Father. The things I want to do to this man. The things I want…” Jared stuttered, and Jensen heard him swallow hard, “the things I want him to do to me are unholy. They’re sinful. I just cannot keep on pretending that I am okay living side by side with him. He hides, Father. He hides because he knows the filth I think of him and he hates me for it,” Jared confessed, his breath hitching as if he was crying. 

Jensen did everything he could to maintain his composure. He wanted Jared to know that these things were not at all what he thought, but he wasn’t sure _how_ to tell him. He cleared his throat, and his voice, just above a whisper pleaded, “What things do you think of?” He tried to make his voice as passive as he could, as deep as his mentor’s with the lack of judgment it always held. 

Jared stiffened. He knew that voice; he knew it was Jensen, not Jeff sitting on the other side. He hadn’t been at the parish long, but he knew the tells, the inflections of their voices. Jared somehow felt lighter, knowing it was not the Father he’d believed it to be on the other side. He knew he would burn for it, but he decided to play the game.

“Father, why do you want to know what things?” Jared asked, his voice almost teasing. 

Jensen realized that Jared had recognized his voice, but he just didn’t care at the moment. “Well, I want to know what your penance should be,” he lied. 

Jared smirked. “Well, _Father_ ,” he began, “I have this dream, almost every night, that this man comes to me. He confesses that he has only been running because he wants me, too. He wants _me_ , Father,” Jared continued, breath getting heavy. “He comes to me and I give myself to him,” he whispered.

Jensen almost choked on his own tongue, his hands clenching the fabric of his pants over his thighs. “Ca-carry on,” he whispered, slipping a hand from his leg to reach under his robes to touch his cock, hardening quickly.

Jared breathed heavily, knowing he was getting under the other priest’s thick skin. “Well, Father,” he said softly, “I think of him when we go to bed at night. I dream that he just can’t take it anymore and comes to me. That he lays beside me, pulling me to him,” Jared admitted, his voice shaky. “I dream of him licking his way into my mouth, it doesn’t take long, because I want it just as bad, and we kiss long and hard.” Jared stuttered again, this time his own hand traveling south. “Father,” he whispered. 

“Yes, go on,” Jensen choked out. 

“Father, I want him to touch me. He knows it, too. In our rooms at night we sleep in undershirts and shorts, so he lifts my shirt above my head, he… Father, he leans in and kisses my chest, licking my nipples, turning me on more than I have ever felt. I never have felt this much. His hands run down my body, slipping me out of my shorts and he touches me. Oh! He touches me and I melt into him. I’ve never felt this wanted, this cared for.” 

Jared gasps, his hands slipping through his unzipped pants, stroking himself slowly along with the vivid memory of his dream. He hears heavy breathing coming from the other side and he can only imagine, or hope, Jensen is doing the same thing. 

“He touches me, wraps his strong hand around me. I’m so hard, Father, harder than I have ever been. I want him so bad,” Jared confesses, desperation in his voice. 

“Continue,” Jensen whispers deeply, his eyes fluttering closed. 

“He strokes me and kisses me. Then, Oh Father, then he lowers himself and takes me in his mouth. It’s like nothing I could ever dream of, even though it _is_ just a dream. He sucks and teases and looks up at me with his green eyes and smiles at me.” Jared exhales, his dick growing harder as he strokes, getting closer to completion. 

“He pushes me onto my back then he licks me open. I don’t know what it really feels like, but I can only imagine. He pushes a finger in, then two -” He gasps, Jensen’s breathing getting heavier with every word. “Then, Father, then he lays on top of me, lines himself up and pushes in. Oh, how I wish I knew what it really feels like because in my dream, it can only be described as heaven. He thrusts inside me and I wrap my legs around his waist, urging him on.” 

Jared stops for a moment. He’s so hard, so close to coming right in the confessional booth, and even though he knows how wrong it is, he can’t stop. He feels like the man in his fantasy. He can’t stop either because he can hear the sound of Jensen jerking himself off, the wetness that has leaked from him coating his hot, hard cock, and he knows from the quickness of his breath, he is just as close as Jared. So, he continues.

“He fucks me, Father. He fucks me hard, deep, and with no regret. He hits that spot inside of me I’ve only heard of, then I cum all over him. He’s never even touched me… there, but I paint our bodies and that’s enough to send him over the edge,” Jared says, so close to losing control, he’s just waiting. Then he hears his signal.

“Fuck yeah, Jared. Yes.” He hears Jensen whisper as Jensen spills over his own hand, beneath his robes. 

Jared sighs as he comes, whispering his name, “ _Jensen_.”

That was enough to break the spell. Jensen tucks himself in quickly and mumbles, “Four our fathers, three hail Mary’s,” then nearly runs from the confessional. 

Jared sits there dumbfounded, still coming down from the high. He cleans himself up as best he can before the realization hits him of what he really just did. He leaves the booth in search of Jensen, but doesn’t find him until he sees him on the altar for mass. 

Jared doesn’t know what happened. On one hand, he felt closer to Jensen than he ever had, at least now he _knew_ the other priest felt the same way. But Jensen hid from him. 

The guilt of what they had done was eating away at him. They were supposed to be sharing a room, but Jensen found a way to never be there when Jared was. He even got to the point where he was sleeping anywhere _but_ his room. 

Jensen wasn’t handling this well. 

He knew it. He knew he owed more to Jared, to Jeff, to the Church, and to himself. He knew it, but the guilt he was raised with made him hate himself for what he allowed himself to do in that confessional. 

He still worked with Jared with the kids. They were friendly but kept their distance, and as soon as the youth group or basketball was over, Jensen disappeared. Jared was going out of his mind. He had no idea where Jensen was going, where he was sleeping, when he was eating. He noticed the older priest was losing weight, two weeks after their confessional incident, and they had yet to be alone together. Jensen literally hid from him at every chance. 

Jared was starting to hate himself for it. 

He began to add things into his homily about pain, about heartache, and regret. He didn’t know that Jensen listened to every mass Jared gave, checking in on him when Jared wasn’t looking. But Jensen refused to allow himself to get close. He knew in the end he would lose and the thought of losing everything he gave his own life up for hurt too much. 

But then there was Jared. Jared was unlike anything or anyone Jensen had ever known. He hated himself for what happened, but somewhere inside he wasn’t truly sorry. He wanted to give Jared that fantasy. He wanted to give him so much more. 

As the weeks turned into a month, then two, he fell so much harder for the other priest, even though he was hiding in the shadows. The renovations of the church were nearly complete, having been delayed with several storms. He knew Monsignor Morgan was giving him space, but he also knew sooner or later he needed to make a decision. 

Taking a deep breath, he made his way to Morgan’s office for some advice. Morgan looked up over his reading glasses and nodded toward the leather chair opposite his desk. 

“Monsignor, I have a big problem. I don’t know how serious this is for Jared, but, well, for me… I can’t stop thinking about him. I don’t know that I can stay.” Tears brimmed in his vibrant green eyes. “I don’t know if I can stay here or be a priest in general. It’s not even about Jared so much, because he could feel very differently, but if I’m feeling these things and starting to act on them… then I am betraying the church, and you.” 

Jeff sat quietly, taking in what the younger man said. “So, has something happened between the two of you?” he asked. 

Jensen’s pink cheeks answered his question. 

“Jensen, you know if it were up to me, I would let you stay. I wouldn’t care who you loved. The problem is we took a vow of celibacy and you acting on the urges means you broke that. I am assuming that you’re set on this decision, or you wouldn’t be here in my office,” Jeff said matter of fact. 

Jensen kept his eyes cast down on the floor. He couldn’t look his mentor in the eyes. “I’m sorry sir. I just cannot deny who I am anymore. I don’t want to live a lie.” 

Jeffery nodded. “Well, can I ask you to at least stay until I can get a replacement here? It can stay off the record. I just don’t want to be short-handed and I feel like I’m about to lose both of you.” 

Jensen shook his head, looking down at his hands. “I doubt you’ll lose Jared.” Jensen excused himself before Morgan could respond, then went in search of Jared. He needed to talk this out with him.

He knew Jared was at least attracted to him, but he didn’t know how deep it went. He’d been so cold to Jared… maybe he’d changed his mind. Jensen felt a twist of guilt, upset with himself for how he treated Jared and for hiding from him. He took a minute to lie down on the newly installed pew, one of the places he’d been sleeping these last couple months. He closed his eyes for a moment and heard a crash of thunder followed by the pounding of rain. Jensen thought about what he would say to Jared when he found him.

He just hoped he wasn’t too late. 

Jensen shot up from his backbreaking, makeshift bed on the pew. He became a man on a mission. He’d made his decision: he chose Jared. He needed to, he needed Jared. He knew his life would never be the same and he would regret every moment if he didn’t find him and tell him. He needed to tell the beautiful, strong, priest that he was in love with him. That it wasn’t just lust, wasn’t just desire. He felt it in his bones. 

He ran to their shared sleeping quarters hoping to find him, but Jared wasn’t there.

Thunder boomed outside the building and rain cascaded heavily, flooding the streets quickly. Jensen searched every common area inside with no luck. The lightning and thunder raged on, rain pouring down in sheets. Jensen was moving toward the back of the building, near the storage units, when he heard it. It sounded muffled, but he knew someone was out there in the rain.

He opened the side door slowly. The person outside didn’t hear the creaks of the old doors and Jensen stood, watching for a moment. Jared was standing in the open space behind the church, his arms reaching for heaven. 

“WHY GOD?” he cried. “Why did you make me like this? Why did you make me love him? Why now? This isn’t fair God. This isn’t fucking fair! I did EVERYTHING that was asked of me. I come from nothing. NO ONE wanted me, NO one loved me. I was pushed into this life and I accepted it. I _loved_ you. I did this for YOU! What have you done for ME? You put this man in front of me, who may have desire for me but doesn’t want me. He doesn’t love me. Are you reminding me that no one does? WHY God? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?” Jared screamed at the rain.

Jensen couldn’t take it anymore. He rushed out into the pouring rain, wrapping his arms around Jared’s body and pulling him back against his chest. At first, Jared tried to push him off, fear and pain rushing through his body. Jensen held tight.

“I got you, Jare, I got you,” he whispered into Jared’s ear. 

Jared’s body relaxed at Jensen’s voice. The two men stared at each other for what felt like eternity before Jensen gripped the back of Jared’s neck and pulled him in. He kissed him hard, his tongue demanding entrance which Jared willingly gave. They stood out there kissing in the pouring rain for several minutes, caring nothing of anything else in the world. Jensen was the one to pull back, but instead of running, he pulled Jared’s body closer.

“I’ve had a hard time with this, and yes, I ran. But I’m not running anymore. Jared, I love you. I can’t hide it anymore. I’m in love with you,” Jensen confessed, his deep voice breaking. 

Jared breathed deep before his lips met Jensen’s again, this time much softer, and careful. “I love you too. I don’t know what to do, but I do love you.” Jared sighed. 

The rain stopped as quickly as it had come on, both of them soaked and clinging to one another as the rain turned to a fine mist before stopping completely. They kissed a few more times and Jensen said.

“Well, if I were one to believe in signs.” 

Jared laughed out right, his whole body into it, it was literally the most beautiful thing Jensen had ever seen. 

“You are the sunshine in the rain Jared. _You_ are my sunshine,” he said before their lips met once more.

Although the heavens cleared and the rain stopped, they knew this decision they made, or rather, giving into their hearts, would not go without consequence.


	5. Chapter 5

Jensen filled Jared in on his conversation with Jeff, his voice breaking when he told Jared he was leaving the priesthood and leaving the church. “But you don’t have to throw it all away, Jared. I would never ask you to do that. I’m leaving for me so that I don’t have to suppress or hide anymore. I can’t, in good conscience, stay knowing that I have these strong feelings. 

Jared nodded, listening intently to Jensen. When Jensen finished talking, they'd arrived at their room and Jared exhaled deeply. “Jensen, I need to leave, too. I love you, so I can’t stay here and live a lie, either. I want to be with you. I want so much. It sounds crazy, we only met a short time ago, but I have never felt this way for anyone, never felt this much before.” 

"Guess Jeff was right." Jensen smiled, shyly. “I did tell him I would stay until he found a replacement. I know it’ll be hard, but I don’t think we should take this further physically until we are no longer part of the church.” 

Jared agreed with him, nodding slowly, then told Jensen he was going to talk to Jeff, too. Jared stood up and ran his hand through his chestnut hair, fingertips lingering at the back of Jensen's head before he whispered, “Here goes nothing’”

Right after Jared left the room, Jensen changed his clothes. He slid on black pajama pants and a white t-shirt, crawling underneath his covers before picking up the novel he abandoned on his nightstand two months ago.

Jared knocked on Monsignor Morgan’s office door and heard a quiet, “Come in.” As he entered the office, Jeff looked up and gave a small, knowing smile. “Ah, Jared. Let me guess why you’re here. You wanted to inform me that I won’t be replacing one priest, but two?” 

Jared slowly nodded. “I’m so sorry, sir. I - _we_ \- didn’t expect this to happen. I feel like I’ve let both you and our Heavenly Father down. But... I just can’t go on pretending that I don’t love him, that I don’t want a future with him.” 

Jeff listened, sighed and said, “Jared, I’m going to tell you almost the same thing I told Jensen. God loves you, no matter what. You aren’t letting anyone down. You are an adult and free to make your own choices." He leaned forward, pressing his hands against his desk and met Jared's eyes. "I wish this hadn’t happened, but not because I’m upset with you two having feelings for one another. I'm upset because I’m losing two amazing priests at this parish. It’ll be okay, though, I can get two replacements in a matter of a few weeks. In the mean time, I suggest you and Jensen start looking for jobs. You'll both need a steady income to secure housing.” 

Jared and Jeff chatted for a few more minutes, Jeff relieving most of Jared's anxieties, before the younger priest excused himself. Jared went straight to his and Jensen’s temporary room and walked in with every intention of telling Jensen everything that he discussed with the Monsignor. When he shut the door behind him, he noticed Jensen was sound asleep. He smiled softly, knowing Jensen hadn't been sleeping well, and as much as he wanted to talk to the other man, he silently changed into pajamas and slid into his own bed. 

“I hope we aren’t making a mistake...” Jared sighed.

Jared woke up the next morning to an empty room. He stared to worry that maybe Jensen changed his mind when he got up to use the restroom and saw a note on his nightstand. 

_Jared-  
Went out for a bit. See you at mass.  
♥ Jensen_

Jared smiled to himself; he found it adorable that Jensen was trying to reassure him. Jared showered, put on his vestment, and made his way to the church. He started getting things set up for mass and heard the church doors open and shut. When he looked up, his throat went dry. Jensen walked in wearing jeans that hugged his tight ass and muscular thighs and a black and blue flannel over a tight black undershirt. He smiled at Jared, who returned the gesture. 

“Hey,” Jensen greeted Jared.

“Hey,” Jared replied, dimples on full display.

“So, I went out this morning to look for jobs. I know we have a few weeks before our replacements come, but I thought it would be good to line some things up now.” 

Jared nodded in agreement. “Any luck?” he asked. 

“I applied at a few places. Not a lot of options for an ex-priest with no other higher education except seminary school. I did find one thing that could be promising,” Jensen explained. Jared gave a smal, understanding nod, encouraging him to continue. “Well, they’re building a recreation center for the kids in the area, tryin to keep ‘em off the streets. They're looking for mentors, counselors, and some administrative positions. I filled out an application while I was there, but I brought one for you, too.”

Jared smiled at Jensen and accepted the application. Then he looked up and met the other man's eyes. Blowing out a breath he admitted, “Jensen, I’m really scared.” 

Jensen’s face fell. Was Jared having second thoughts? Had he done all of this for nothing? “What are you scared of?” Jensen asked nervously.

“Well, as an adult... this is all I’ve ever known. And it’s been amazing. I... I had a tough life Jensen. I don’t know who my father is and my mother died of a drug overdose when I was four. She had no family, or at least none that stepped up to take care of me, and I was bounced from foster home to foster home. I was in and out of places, some that were decent, and some that were horrible. I was nobody’s son. I meant nothing, and I had nowhere to call home. 

"When I was fourteen I ran away from an abusive foster home. I slept in empty warehouses, parks, anywhere I could find until the police picked me up. Somehow, ten years later, I somehow was found by my Mom’s much older sister and she took me in. She was extremely religious and did the bare minimum to care for me. She was strict and kind of cold, but she was family. I stayed."

I was a freshman when I realized I was gay. I told her and she flipped out, told me that is was sinful, that I would be condemned to Hell. I was terrified of her and I didn’t bring it up again for a few years. By then, I hadn't come out to anyone other than her and maybe two of my close friends. I was a senior when she came home early from work to find me on my knees with the deacon from her church’s son. She shipped me off to seminary school right after graduation and I went willingly, to get away from her and to try to ‘fix’ myself. And it had worked. It worked until you."

I haven’t been homeless or felt alone, and I hadn’t had any urge to be intimate with anyone. Then you came into my life. I’m scared because I don’t want to lose a safe place to sleep, food to eat, and a congregation that cares about me. I do want to do this with you, truly, but... realistically, I can’t and probably won’t be able to afford an apartment on my own. We are just starting this, Jensen. This is new for us both. Isn’t it too soon to move in together?” 

Jensen took it all in, his heart both breaking and swelling for Jared and the trials he'd gone through. He understood his fear, because the same thought had crossed his mind that morning. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, then answered. “Well, first, I’m sorry you had to grow up that way, Jared. It's a terrible beginning and one that no one should have to endure. I’m sorry you had a shitty aunt, too. I can’t promise you that we will always be perfect but I can assure you that I’m not taking any of this lightly. This isn’t a casual fling. I wouldn’t have resigned if that were the case. About living together, we do that now. We can try to find a two-bedroom place if that would make you more comfortable, because I doubt either of us can afford our own place right now. We can take the ‘us’ part slow, it’s going to be an adjustment for both of us.” 

Jared and Jensen talked some more about future plans while they finished getting things ready for mass. It was Jared's turn to do Wednesday evening, so Jensen left to run a few more errands. He went by the bank to open an account with the little bit of money he had. As the clerk was inputting his information, she paused in her clicking and stared curiously at the screen. 

“Uh, Mr. Ackles?”

“Yes?” Jensen couldn’t read the confusion on her face.

“Um, sir, you already have a savings account here.” She turned the monitor so Jensen could see it. 

“What the- Oh my God.” Jensen had a significant trust fund and had told his parents instead of giving him the money, to donate it because as a priest he took a vow of poverty. He looked at the number, which had accrued so much interest over the years, as it sat untouched. Clearly his parents hadn’t respected his wishes and opened an account just prior to him turning eighteen. Twenty-two years of growth on the account and his account had a lot of zeros. He had a million and a half dollars. 

The timing couldn’t be better. 

He saw that his mother’s name was still on the account, being that she made it when he was a minor, he was able to have her removed. He knew at some point he would have to tell his parents what was going on and his gut told them that they would freak out; taking her off the account meant that she couldn’t access his money anymore and he needed that security. Jensen was still stunned when he got back to the church. Mass had just ended and Jensen really didn’t want to run into any of the congregation at that moment, so he slipped silently through the halls to his bedroom. A short while later, Jared came in. He saw the shocked look that Jensen’s face still held.

“Jensen, you okay?” 

Jensen looked up at Jared and smiled wide. “I’m better than okay, I’m apparently loaded!” 

Jared was very confused, so Jensen explained everything about the trust and the amount of money he had. Then, they started to make a plan; getting things ready for them to leave and writing letters of resignation. Jeff told them it was up to them if they wanted to disclose why they were leaving, but since it was their choice they opted to keep it between themselves. 

The weeks went by, Jared and Jensen only trading a few kisses and trying to avoid too much physical contact to respect Jeff and the church; they both still felt guilty about the confessional. Then, Jeff announced that two new priests would be coming to replace them, Father Collins and Father Pellegrino. 

They really DID try to behave, but as they were setting up the altar late one night Jared crowded up behind Jensen and began kissing his neck.

“Jared, what are you doing?” Jensen sighed, loving the feeling of Jared’s lips on his neck. 

“I can’t resist you Jensen. I just want to - can I taste you? Please. I can’t wait anymore.” 

Jensen moaned and arched his back. Jared took the response for what it was and reached around him to unbutton his black pants. They were both wearing their collars, their black on black shirts and pants, and looked like sin personified. 

Jared spun Jensen around so his back was leaning against the altar and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it open, but leaving the collar in place. He got on his knees and unzipped Jensen’s pants, Jensen too shocked to move or speak. What they were doing was so wrong, yet he couldn’t stop. Jared pulled Jensen’s long, thick, and completely hard cock out and licked his lips. He looked up and Jensen who was staring at him slack jawed, pure desire in his eyes. 

Jared leaned forward and licked the head of Jensen’s cock, causing Jensen’s hips to jerk forward. Jared didn’t wait any longer and took Jensen into his mouth as far as he could go. He pinned Jensen against the altar by holding his hips steady there. The wood was pressing against his back almost painfully, but the bliss he was feeling... nothing had ever felt so amazing in his whole life. Jared sucked eagerly, twirling his tongue and taking Jensen as deep as he could. 

It took everything Jensen had in him to remain quiet. His fists were gripping the cloth on the altar as he let out a slight moan.

“Shit. Jared. Jare. I’m gonna. Oh fuck I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum,” he whispered sounding wrecked. 

Jared sucked harder and Jensen came hard down his throat. Jared had to pull back, not expecting the force or the amount, and cum splattered on his cheek and chin. 

“Oh Jared, baby, you look so fucking hot right now, I wish I could take a picture.” Jensen moaned quietly, pulling Jared up to kiss him deeply and licking his cum off Jared’s face. 

“That’s so hot.” Jared growled, rutting against Jensen. Jensen quickly undid Jared’s pants and pulled out his hot throbbing cock, gripping it tight, and stroking him fast. On the third stroke Jared shot his load all over Jensen’s hand and his black pants. 

He kissed him through the aftershock of his intense orgasm and then they quickly cleaned up with Jensen's ruined pants and headed to their quarters. 

“As hot as that was, we can never do that again. We are so going to hell,” Jensen said that night when they were in their separate beds. Both of them felt guilty about losing control, and doing it against the altar of all places, but it was so hot they couldn’t help it. They promised to behave until they were in their own place.

Jensen and Jared were both hired by the community center and would be starting their jobs the week following Father Collins and Father Pellegrino's arrival. Jensen opted on buying a house, now that he knew they could afford it, instead of renting. The last few weeks they had, they spend their free time looking at houses. They found a simple three-bedroom rambler that was in the nicer part of the neighborhood, and the moment they walked in the front door, they knew it was meant to be theirs.

Jensen was excited and terrified to take the next step in his life, and he was thrilled Jared was the one he was taking it with.


	6. Chapter 6

The last day at the church was bittersweet and Monsignor Morgan got choked up saying goodbye to the younger men. “You’ll always be welcome here, and I hope this isn’t the last we see of you,” he told them.

Jeff’s support meant the world to both Jared and Jensen, and they hoped that the congregation would be just as accepting once things were out in the open. There had been rumors, of course, whispers of why the younger, attractive priests were leaving at the exact same time; it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out. However, no one addressed the rumors and Jeffrey made it a point to scold anyone who asked. 

Most of their belongings had been brought to the home already, allowing them to have a relaxing first day unpacking and officially moving into their new home. They had picked out furniture together and while Jensen was waiting for it to be delivered, Jared ran errands to get other household necessities. Jensen was leaning over the trunk of the car pulling the last of the boxes out after the furniture had arrived when he felt a hard blow to his back. 

Crying out, he fell forward further into the trunk only to be grabbed and struck again, knocking him to the ground. From the pavement, he saw through blurry eyes three men, each holding a weapon of some sort. One had a baseball bat, one a tire iron, and the last a chain. He recognized the men, though just barely as blood dripped into his eyes, as members of Saint Patrick’s. 

Blow after blow hit him and he curled to his side, trying to pull himself under the car. His head was bleeding and he was fighting so hard to stay conscious. “Why are you doing this?” he cried.

“Did you touch my son, you fucking fag?” one man screamed.

“You and the other faggot should die! God hates fags!” the second one added with the third quickly chiming in, “You’re going to burn in hell. You’re both fucking perverts!” 

Jensen felt darkness taking over. He just knew he was going to die. He prayed for God’s forgiveness and help as his consciousness slipped away.

Jared was driving back to his new home smiling to himself listening to the radio, excited to show Jensen the things he had purchased for the house. He couldn’t wait to show him the Dallas Cowboys shower curtain and he giggled at himself for actually buying it. His happiness turned to dread when he pulled into the driveway and saw an ambulance, two police cruisers, half the neighborhood, and Monsignor Morgan. He jumped out of the car and ran toward the crowd.

“What’s going on? Where’s Jensen?” Jared yelled as he approached Jeff. 

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the tears on Jeff’s face. His gaze drifted to the ground where EMT’s were pulling a chain off of Jensen’s broken body. He was almost unrecognizable. Jensen’s entire face was covered in blood and swollen, his eyes puffy and closed, and even from here Jared could see his nose was broken. He stared in horror as the EMTs moved Jensen carefully, his shoulder flopping to the side to show its dislocation, as they removed the rest of the chain from his wrists pinned behind him. As they turned him back, Jared saw Jensen’s chest through his open shirt. Written in blood across his chest were the words, “God hates fags.” 

Jared fell to his knees and wailed. “Who did this? Who the fuck did this to him?” 

Jensen’s entire body was turning shades of purple and black, several ribs were broken, and the EMT’s were fairly certain his lung had collapsed. They were working as quickly as they could to get him on the stretcher and trying to get him to respond.

Jeff pulled Jared off the ground and into his arms. “I got ya, son,” his deep voice whispered through his own tears. 

“Who did this to him?” Jared sobbed into Jeff’s shoulder. 

“The police found witnesses. Your new neighbor, Chad, along with a few other folks in the neighborhood, Mike and Tom, rushed over and stopped them. They got away, your neighbors were focused on helping Jensen, but they know their names. Jared…” Jeff whispered, giving the younger man a squeeze, “it was parishioners.”

Jared gasped, his stomach twisting violently, and Jeff held onto him even tighter. “The police are tracking them down now and the officers here are getting statements from all the witnesses,” Jeff explained. He felt utterly sick to think people of his parish could do something so violent and evil. 

Jared and Jeff watched with bated breath as they loaded Jensen into the ambulance. Jared jumped in to ride with him, quietly sobbing as the EMT’s worked on him. Jeff told him he would meet him at the hospital and Jared closed his eyes and prayed. 

“God, please don’t let him die. Please don’t take him from me.” He whispered to heaven as the ambulance took off, sirens blaring.

Hours felt like years to Jared. Jensen was rushed into emergency surgery to fix his collapsed lung, broken collarbone, dislocated shoulder, broken pelvis, and broken arm. They also had to call in a plastic surgeon to fix his shattered cheekbone and broken nose. Jeff sat by Jared’s side quietly in the hospital chapel, both men silently praying.

After several hours, and once Jared and Jeff were back in the waiting room, the doctor came out to give them the news. “Monsignor Morgan?” she asked. 

“Yes, doctor.” 

“I’m Doctor Ferris. You are listed as emergency contact for Mr. Jensen Ackles,” she stated matter of fact. 

Jeff nodded and Jared held his breath. 

“Well, Mr. Ackles has suffered numerous and quite serious injuries. He’s still sedated as of right now and when he wakes, he will be in extreme pain. We were able to repair the collapsed lung and set all the broken bones. He’s very lucky considering what he’s been through that this wasn’t worse.” 

Jared bit his tongue. _Lucky?!_ How the fuck was he lucky? He was beaten nearly to death in a hate crime. He blew out the breath he was holding. 

“What’s the prognosis, Doctor Ferris?” Jeff asked.

“Well, he’s going to pull through. He will have a long recovery, though. I anticipate him being here for at least a week, if not longer, before discharge and he will need months of physical therapy. He’s going to need a lot of care at home. It states that he’s single, does he have someone that can care for him?” 

Jared choked on a sob. “Me, Ma’am. He’s, uh, Jensen’s my boyfriend. We were just moving in together.” 

Doctor Ferris looked sympathetically at Jared. “Well, I can let you guys go in and see him soon but be prepared. He’s has a pretty severe concussion and will probably be out for a little while longer, and he’s very swollen and pale from his injuries. We are trying to keep him as comfortable as possible but he’s going to be in pain for a while.”

Jared bit back more tears and nodded. He just wanted to see Jensen. Dr. Ferris led the pair back to Jensen’s room which was dimly lit and kept cold. The soft beeping of several machines attached to Jensen terrified Jared. He’d been to hospitals countless times before to bring communion, read last rites, or anoint the sick, but had never been there for someone he loved. It scared him to death. 

He quietly walked over to the bed, looking down at his boyfriend while silent tears streaming down his red, blotchy face. Jensen’s eyes were still swollen, one worse than the other. His entire face puffy and bruised. He had stitches across his left eyebrow and down his chin, staples on the right side of his head, and more stitches on his arms. Jared was sure there were even more under the hospital gown. 

Jensen had oxygen tubing looped loosely around his ears and positioned in his nose; Jared was just thankful in that moment he wasn’t intubated. Jensen’s left had was cast, his arm in traction, and a second cast on his right leg. Beneath the gown his ribs were taped up and his perfect skin was marred with black and purple all over. Jared’s knees felt weak as his hand covered his mouth to quiet the sobs that erupted. Jeff was quick to get a chair under him and eased him down. 

Jared reached for Jensen’s hand, and as gently as humanly possible, wrapped his own around it. “Oh, babe... Oh I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I should've been there, not off buying a stupid shower curtain. I should have been there,” Jared cried over and over. 

Jeff placed his hand on Jared’s shoulder, crouching down beside him. “Jared, son. This is not your fault. Had you been there, I would be visiting both of you in the hospital right now and not just Jensen.” 

Jared leaned his head on the edge of the bed. “Jeff, can you pray for him. Please,” Jared begged.

Jeff nodded and began praying out loud for Jensen’s recovery. Once he was done, he pushed up from his spot beside Jared and bent down to kiss Jensen’s forehead softly. “We’re here, Jensen. We love you.” He pulled up another chair next to Jared and both men sat quietly at Jensen’s bedside until they were told visiting hours were over. 

Jeff tried to get Jared to go home but Jared refused. Instead, he went and laid across several chairs in the waiting room and slept there, insisting he wasn’t leaving until Jensen woke up. Jeff didn’t fight him on it. He took Jared’s house key to go make sure their home was locked up and safe, poking through a few of the boxes to grab a change of clothes for Jared. 

Six hours later, a young nurse, Alona, gently woke Jared. “You’re Jared, right?” she asked softly. 

Jared nodded sleepily, reaching up to wipe at his eyes.

“Someone’s asking for you. We’ve got to be quiet because technically visiting hours don’t start for another two hours, but I’m sure you want to see him,” she explained, giving him a soft smile.

Jared jumped off the chairs nearly tumbling over on tired, unsteady legs. Nurse Alona led him to Jensen’s room and nodded for him to go inside. “You’ve got ten minutes, it’s the best I can do,” she whispered. 

He thanked her and rushed to Jensen’s side. 

“Jared? That you?” croaked Jensen softly. 

“Yes, Jen. It’s me. I’m here babe,” Jared replied as he sat down, gingerly taking Jensen’s hand once again.

Jensen slowly turned his head, wincing in pain to try to see him through the one eye that would open, even if it was only half way. 

“Hey,” Jensen whispered.

“Hey. I’d ask how you’re feeling, but that seems like a pretty stupid question,” Jared said, his voice cracking.

“I’m okay, Jared. I’m in a lot of pain, but I’m okay. I’m alive, that’s what matters,” Jensen’s rough voice whispered.

Now that Jensen was awake, anger flared inside Jared like he’d never felt before. “Wait until I get my hands on those sick mother fuckers,” Jared started, gritting his teeth.

“You’ll do no such thing, Jared. We might have left our collars behind, but we are still Christians and we will not do anyone harm. Justice will be served, by the law and by God.” Jensen breath was ragged, but he forced himself to get the words out.

Jared bit back his reply. He didn’t want to upset Jensen, but he was so filled with hate in that moment. He didn’t understand how Jensen could be so calm about it.

As if sensing his boyfriend’s inner turmoil, Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand. “Hey, I’m gonna be okay, babe,” he whispered. 

Jared nodded but couldn’t stop the tears that began pouring from his eyes. “I know I should be comforting you, Jensen. I’m sorry. I was -- I was just so scared when I got there. I thought you were dead. I thought I was going to lose you and I just barely got you.” 

Jensen gently squeezed Jared’s hand again. “I’m so sorry baby.” 

Jared felt terrible that Jensen was the one consoling him, so he cleared his throat and bent over to softly kiss Jensen’s swollen lips. “I’m not leaving this hospital without you by my side,” he promised.

“Yes you are,” Jensen argued. “You have to unpack our home, Jared. You have a job to start! Don’t let this hold us back,” Jensen scolded.

The pain began to resurface and Jensen let out a whimper. Jared was quick to hit the call button and Alona came in a hurry. 

“He’s in pain,” Jared explained. 

She nodded and disappeared for a moment, coming back with another IV pole, a plastic box swinging from the top. She made quick work of setting up the lines and then explained she was starting a morphine drip. 

“We’re going to put you on a PCA, Mr. Ackles.” Alona leaned down, cleaning and attaching th new line to the IV Jensen already had. “We needed you to be awake before we started it. This button will administer the appropriate dose of pain medication whenever you hit it. It has a lock out period of fifteen minutes. You can press the button whenever you’re in pain, okay?” 

Jensen nodded, but his eyes were already closing as she pushed through a loading dose. 

“Go home Jare. Come back in the morning. Get some sleep,” Jensen sighed as he drifted back into oblivion. 

Jared leaned down to kiss Jensen’s forehead. “I love you,” he said before turning and exiting the hospital room. 

Jared called Jeff and told him that Jensen had woken up and told him to go home. Jeff chuckled, knowing that it annoyed Jared, but happy that he and Jensen agreed Jared needed to be home. Jeff picked Jared up at the hospital entrance, fighting back a smile as Jared entered the car, already pouting. He walked Jared up to the door and Jared paused before unlocking it. 

“I can’t sleep here, Jeff. I won’t. Not until Jensen’s home. This is _our_ home, and we haven’t even spent a night here together. I won’t sleep here until he does,” Jared said stubbornly.

“Now, Jared, that could be weeks. What are you going to do? Sleep in the waiting room? Jensen wants you to be here, so I suggest you get your ass in there, shower, sleep, and then start putting the place together so that you can welcome Jensen back to a _home_ , not just a house he’ll need to unpack while he’s recovering.” 

“I’m scared, Jeff. I don’t want to stay here alone,” Jared confessed.

“I’ll stay with you tonight. We can work on the place tomorrow after we go visit him. Okay, son?” Jeff offered.

Jared agreed and the men went into the house. Jared didn’t realize how tired he actually was until he had showered and laid down. He slept in the guest room, refusing to sleep in his and Jensen’s new bed without Jensen. Jeff took the couch, understanding Jared’s feelings. Jared fell asleep almost immediately, and when Jeff woke him six hours later, he all but sprang from the bed, seeing the older man was already dressed and had made coffee. Jared quickly changed and guzzled two cups before they headed back to the hospital. 

What they didn’t expect when they got there was a news team waiting for them at the doors.


	7. Chapter 7

Jeff stepped in front of Jared, shielding him, as the press approached.

“Monsignor Morgan?” one reporter asked, a cameraman at his back. 

“Yes, that’s me,” he answered, gruffly.

“Is it true that the victim of the hate crime yesterday was a former priest at your parish? That he was targeted because he left the church and priesthood to be with a man?” the man asked, shoving the microphone in Jeff’s face. 

Jeff glared at the reporter and stepped back. “I’m not answering any questions, sir,” he gritted through his teeth.

Jared kept his head down and Jeff dragged him into the hospital.

“Can we get these vultures out of here?” Jeff’s voice boomed at the staff. Jared was startled; he’d never heard Jeffrey angry before.

Hospital security attempted to keep the press at bay, but as long as they stayed outside on public property and didn’t obstruct the flow of traffic for emergency vehicles, there wasn’t much they could do. 

Jared and Jeff made their way swiftly to Jensen’s room. Jensen’s one-half open eye met Jared’s as he walked into the room. Jensen was more alert than the before, but clearly in more pain as well. “Hey,” he rasped.

“Shh, don’t talk if it hurts,” Jared said softly, bending to kiss Jensen’s forehead. 

Jeff turned on the TV, fearing that the story was already all over the local news. His fears were confirmed when the first channel was the news and Jensen’s face was plastered on the screen.

“Former Catholic Priest, Jensen Ackles, age 40, was attacked in the driveway of his home yesterday afternoon,” the reporter stated. “Ackles and former Priest, Jared Padalecki, were in the process of moving into their home together, when Ackles was attacked in what appears to be a hate crime.” 

Jensen gasped. Jared looked at his boyfriend and saw the fear in his face.

“Is this local? Please say it’s just local,” his hoarse voice pleaded. 

Jensen may have come out to his former boss, priest, and friend, but he had not come out to his family or the parish. He choked back a sob as he realized while Jeff flipped from one channel to the next, that this was not a story to be ignored. The sound bytes from witnesses and parishioners alike confirmed that it was Jensen and that he was “involved” with Jared. 

The three men who came to Jensen’s rescue, and most likely saved his life, were the only three who stood up for Jensen’s privacy. Chad, the first man on the scene, was furious with the press.

“Can’t you leave the man alone? He was beaten nearly to death and there was _no_ reason for it. I don’t know the man, so I’m not making any assumptions about anything, but even if I did, it’s no one’s business!” he argued. Tom and Mike agreed with the sentiment and refused to answer questions until Jensen himself gave them permission to speak about it. 

“We need to buy them a steak dinner or something,” Jensen mumbled. His heart was racing and his blood pressure spiked, altering the nurses to come in and check his vitals. 

“Okay, television off, that’s enough excitement for you,” Danneel, the day-time nurse, teased as she came into the room and turned off the source of his anxiety. 

She gave him some anxiety medicine to calm him and reminded him to hit his pain button. Jensen argued, he wanted to stay alert for Jared’s visit, but Jared just held his and told him it was more important for him to be comfortable and rest. 

Jared and Jeff sat with Jensen for a while until he drifted off to sleep. Jeff told Jared he should stay for a bit and he would go back to the house and unpack some of the boxes and clean up. Jared thanked him, grateful that he could stay with Jensen. 

Jared dozed off in the chair beside Jensen’s hospital bed, waiting for him to wake up. He woke with a stiff neck a couple hours later with Jensen softly stroking the back of his hand with his thumb. He looked pensive, and even through the bruises and swelling, Jared could see the underlying fear. 

“What’s wrong, Jensen?” Jared said mid yawn.

“Hm?” Jensen was in a daze until Jared spoke. “I’m just worried about what my family’s going to do. They’ve probably already found out, they’re probably on the way here.” Jensen began to panic a bit, again.

“Okay. Well, we will deal with that together,” Jared said, as comforting as possible. He, too, was scared of how Jensen’s family would react, and in his fragile condition he didn’t want the strain on his boyfriend. 

Jeff came back looking somber a few hours later. Jensen had been in and out of consciousness, and Jared sat vigil by his side. 

“What’s up, Jeff?” Jared asked, marked concern on his face.

“He asleep?” Jeff whispered. 

Jared nodded. 

“His mother called me,” Jeff stated.

Jared’s blood ran cold. “And?” he asked, nervously.

“I told her that yes, Jensen was attacked but anything further she would need to speak with him about. I also informed her that he was not in any condition to talk about anything at this time and wouldn’t be for at least a week. I talked her into waiting until next week to come, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to hold her back any longer than that, if she even waits that long.” Jeff sighed.

Jensen started to stir and Jeff dragged his hand over his tired face.

“I don’t know when we should tell him,” Jeff whispered.

“I’m not going to lie to him,” Jared stated. 

“Lie about what?” Jensen’s froggy voice grumbled.

“Jensen, babe, your mom called Jeff,” Jared explained. 

Jeff took over and rehashed the entire conversation to Jensen, who looked even worse than before. 

Jeff and Jared stayed until visiting hours were over, with the promise to come back the moment they started again. Jared hated leaving Jensen, knowing he was brooding about his family.

Days went by and Jensen’s health improved little by little. His nerves, however, grew worse. He knew it was only a matter of time before his mother showed up.

Jeff had been talking to Donna Ackles each day, letting her know the progress of her son’s health. He didn’t lie to her, but he did continue to tell her he didn’t think Jensen was ready for the family to descend on him just yet. 

He held her off for a week and a half. Jensen’s swelling had gone down considerably and the press still lingered waiting for some kind of statement. Jared had been informed that the attackers had all been apprehended and confessed to their crimes without the slightest bit of remorse. 

Jensen was set to be released in three days when his family finally showed up. His mother, father, sister, and brother bulldozed their way into the hospital room where Jared, as always, was sitting at Jensen’s side, holding his hand. 

“What on earth is going on here?” Donna Ackles shrieked. 

Jensen winced and Jared dropped Jensen’s hand as if it were on fire. Jensen could finally see out of both eyes, although one was still a bit swollen. 

“Hi Mom,” he sighed, “Dad, Mac, Josh. This is Jared.” 

Mackenzie Ackles, Jensen’s younger sister, all but threw herself on him. Jared stopped her just before and shook his head.

“Broken ribs, collar bone, arm, and damaged lung. Please be careful,” he said softly. 

Her eyes met his, and thankfully he saw kindness in them. She gently leaned over her brother and kissed his forehead. “We were so worried, Jen,” she said, her lip quivering. 

He reached up and tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ear. “I’ll live, squirt,” he teased.

Tears fell from her green eyes. “You almost didn’t from what I hear. Jen, what the heck happened?” 

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Donna said, glaring at Jared. 

“I should go, let you talk to your family,” Jared said, starting to get up. Jensen grabbed his hand, pleading eyes met Jared’s.

“Please don’t leave. You’re part of this, too,” he begged, softly.

“No, I believe he should go. This is a family matter,” Donna demanded, coldly.

“And he _is_ my family, mother,” Jensen stated. “He’s not going anywhere.”

“Hey bro, you think that’s the best idea?” Josh asked, nervously. 

“Yes, Josh. He stays.” Jensen’s voice softened a bit addressing his brother.

“Jensen Ross Ackles, what on earth is going on?” his mother asked again, impatiently.

“Well, Mom. I was attacked in my driveway almost two weeks ago. Jared and I were just moving into the house and I get attacked from behind by three men with weapons. They beat me nearly to death and if some of the neighbors hadn’t seen it and stopped them, I wouldn’t be here,” he said, glancing at Jared, whom he could see was doing his best to hold it together and not sob hearing it put that way.

“Well, I have a few questions,” Alan Ackles, Jensen’s father, began. “One, why were you moving into a house? Why aren’t you at the church where you’re supposed to be? And furthermore, why are you moving into a house with this… Jared?” he asked sternly.

Jared gulped and sat down next to Jensen.

“Well, Mr. and Mrs. Ackles, Jensen and I left the church because we fell in love and we were moving in together to start a life together,” Jared answered, nervously.

“Jensen, this is absolutely absurd! You’re a _priest_ for crying out loud! You have been for over twenty years! You’re not GAY!” his mother screamed.

“Well, Mom. It turns out I am. Jeff, uh, Monsignor Morgan, gave us his blessing. We left on good terms. Seems like some of the parish weren’t as supportive, though,” he snarked, waving his hand over his still mostly broken body. 

“Jensen, we raised you better than this. You aren’t gay. You take it back, you get back to your path, and God will forgive you. This is not who you are,” Donna demanded. 

“Mrs. Ackles, with all due respect, there is nothing wrong with your son. God loves every one of his children and Jensen is included in that. Jared, too. I’m sorry that you found out the way you did, but you should be here to support your son who was almost murdered instead of condemning him. The only one with the right to judge him is God; not you, not me, and not anyone else. Judge not lest ye be judged,” Jeff stated firmly from the doorway. 

Donna’s face grew red with rage. “You approve of this! How could you? You’re supposed to be a priest for Christ’s sake,” she yelled.

“I am a priest, a monsignor, actually, and do I approve of this? Well, I was very sad to see my two wonderful, well-loved priests leave, but these young men truly love each other and I am not going to hate them for it. We are supposed to be spreading love, kindness, God’s message. Our job is not to condemn. God said love thy neighbor. He didn’t say love them when it suits you. He also said hate the sin, not the sinner, though I don’t believe real love is a sin.”

“I can’t support this. I won’t. Jensen, we will wait for your release and then you are coming home with us, back to Dallas,” his mother said firmly.

Jared began to panic, thinking Jensen might actually follow the orders. He was relieved when Jensen hit the call button and the nurse came in soon after.

“Hey Danneel, would you please escort my mother and father out of here, please?” He looked over at his parents, shaking his head slowly. “Mom, I’m forty years old. You can’t make me go anywhere. The only place I am going is back to my house, with Jared.” He looked at his brother and sister. “You two are welcome to stay if you accept me and accept Jared. You two,” he pointed at his parents, “can leave. Now,” he demanded.

Donna stood frozen. “You can’t mean that, Jensen.” She gritted through her teeth, “You are willing to be disowned for this... this... trash?! This boy who brainwashed you?” 

“Mom,” Josh chimed in, “Jensen’s always been gay. No one made him do anything. The only damn reason he became a priest was to not act on those urges and to please you two.”

Alan lifted his chin and said, “Well, he failed miserably, then. Jensen, if you don’t come back to Dallas, you’re cut off. You will be disinherited and you will be disowned.” 

Jensen’s eyes filled with tears. Jared squeezed his hand and whispered, “You do what you need to do, Jensen. I don’t want to be the reason you lose your family. I love you and I don’t want to be the reason you hurt.” 

Jensen’s wet eyes met Jared’s. “Jared, I’m not leaving you. You’re not the reason I’m hurt, they are. If they can’t love me for who I am, well, then they’re short one son.” He lifted his head to look at his parents. “Goodbye Donna, Alan.”

With that, Danneel escorted the angry couple out of the room, leaving Jensen’s siblings behind.   
“Mackenzie and Joshua you come out here with us immediately!” Donna screeched.

Josh stood up and Jensen’s heart broke when he thought his brother was leaving. He got to the door and said, “We’re staying,” and shut the door in his mother’s face.

Sobs wracked Jensen’s body, which caused him more physical pain. Danneel came back in and reminded him to use his pain button. She told Jeff, Jared, Josh and Mac that they only had about thirty more minutes before visiting hours were over. 

Mackenzie gingerly crawled into the small hospital bed with her brother and pulled him into her small arms.

“We love you no matter what, Jensen,” she soothed him. Josh sat at the foot of the bed and rested his hand on Jensen’s good leg.

“We’re not going anywhere, brother.” He smiled, sadly. 

When visiting hours ended, Jared drove himself, Josh, and Mac to his and Jensen’s house, where Jeff was there waiting, ten minutes ahead of them. Jared showed them around the house where Jeff and Jared had gotten most of the house put together. Josh and Mac each took a guest room, which left Jared at a loss because he still wouldn’t sleep in the master bedroom until Jensen came home. 

Jeff smiled at him. 

“Jared, son, sleep on the couch. I’m due back at the church anyway. They know why I haven’t been staying there, and they’ve been wonderful about me being gone, but I need to get back to work. You’ve got Josh and Mackenzie here so you’re not alone.” He hugged Jared and said his goodbyes to Jensen’s siblings. 

“What was that about? Has anyone been harassing you, Jared? Scaring you?” Josh asked, chest puffed up protectively. 

“No, no one’s threatened me directly. I’ve had some things thrown at me, had some nasty letters left in the mailbox. Jensen and I were accused of being pedophiles, which Jeff thankfully squashed immediately. I’ve been called fag and sick and every other slur you can imagine, but I just don’t know if anyone else would try to kill him or me. Those guys... You didn’t see him.” Jared choked back tears. “It was awful. I thought he was dead. He wasn’t awake, he was so beaten down and broken. He looks amazing now compared to two weeks ago and he _still_ looks like hell.” 

Josh grabbed Jared into a bear hug. Mac came up behind circling him in their arms. “What was Jeff talking about you sleeping on the couch, Jared?” Mac asked, voice muffled in Jared’s shirt.

They all pulled back from each other and saw Jared blushing. 

“Jensen got attacked the day we were moving in. We never slept in a bed together and we were waiting for our first night in the house together for, uh, everything. I can’t sleep in that brand-new bed in our house until he’s here with me.” Jared shrugged, embarrassed.

Mac teared up. “You really do love him, don’t you?” she asked.

Jared nodded. “More than anything.”


	8. Chapter 8

Josh and Mackenzie stayed with Jared, much to their parent’s dismay, until the day Jensen was released from the hospital. Furious their other two children stayed behind, the Ackles returned to Dallas and Donna attempted, as Jensen predicted, to close out his trust account. She was livid when she realized all the funds had been moved to a joint account under Jensen and Jared’s names. There was nothing she could do about it.

Jensen was released and went home with Jared, Josh, and Mackenzie. Jeffrey was at the house waiting for him. At Jensen’s request, Chad, Mike, and Tom, the three men who had saved him, were waiting with Jeff. Jared had met the men once since the attack and had thanked them for saving Jensen, but Jensen was determined to show them his gratification on his own.

Jensen had a soft cast on his leg, his hand still in a cast and his ribs were still taped up. The swelling had mostly gone down, the bruises turning more of a greenish yellow color. Jensen gave Jared a small nod as they pulled into the driveway and let himself slowly out of the car.

He approached Chad first and his voice cracked as he thanked the man. “You saved my life. There’s just, there isn’t enough...there just aren’t enough words to say thank you. I don’t know how to say thank you,” Jensen said, trying very hard not to cry.

Chad, however, did start to cry. He reached forward and pulled Jensen gently into a hug.

“Man, I’m just glad I got there in time. I’m glad you made it. You do know this means we are bonded for life or some shit, right? Like, we’re gonna be friends forever now.” He laughed through his tears.

Jensen let his guard down a bit and wiped the tears that slipped free off his cheeks.

“I’d be honored to call you my friend,” he said softly.

“You’re so going to regret that!” Mike chimed in, taking his turn to hug Jensen. Tom was next and as Jensen thanked them, he looked across the room at Jared who was silently wiping off his own tears.

“I take it you’ve met my boyfriend, Jared.” Jensen smiled proudly at the man in question. Jared smiled back shyly.

“Yeah, we met Jay-man,” Chad said. “Y’all are good dudes. I’m really fuckin’ sorry that we had to meet this way, but this _is_ a nice neighborhood and we look out for each other. Tommy, Mike, and I all grew up together and have always had each other’s backs. You’re part of us now. Welcome to the neighborhood, officially.”

Jensen smiled at his new friend and allowed Jared to lead everyone into the living room. They conversation as light, but the three men left shortly after, allowing Jensen to get situated and comfortable. He still had quite a bit of recovering to do. Jeff took his leave once Jensen assured him they were good and told the boys he’d be back to check in on them in a few days. Josh and Mackenzie stayed for dinner, with Josh insisting on buying them takeout. They sat down in the living room after dinner to decompress for a while before Josh and Mackenzie announced they were headed to the hotel. Jensen insisted they stay, but Josh was adamant that Jensen needed rest and they’d be back over to visit with him in the morning.

Once everyone was gone, Jared helped Jensen to their bedroom.

“I haven’t spent a single night in this room,” Jared confessed.

“Why not?” Jensen asked, eyebrows raised.

“Because it’s _our_ room, I was not going to sleep in here without you,” he answered softly.

Jensen let Jared help him out of his clothes and into some pajama pants and a t shirt, taking off the soft cast on his leg. Jared put a few throw pillows under Jensen’s leg to elevate it and pulled the blankets over him before disappearing into the bathroom.

He went through his nightly routine and came back to the room in his sleep shorts and t -shirt. He gave Jensen his medicine before crawling into the bed next to him. Jensen reached for Jared, who was reluctant to get too close for fear of hurting him.

Jensen scoffed, “I have been waiting for this moment for months, Jared. I’ve wanted you in my arms for so long. I know it’s not the way we hoped, but I just really want to hold you in my arms tonight.”

Jared relaxed gently against Jensen’s sore body. Jensen’s good arm wrapped around Jared and Jared laid his head on Jensen’s chest, wrapping his arm gently around Jensen’s torso.

“I love you so much,” Jared whispered into Jensen’s chest.

Jensen kissed the top of Jared’s head. “I love you, too.”

Jared and Jensen’s jobs had been held due to the circumstances, and since Jensen was now home, Jared started to work part time. He still wanted to be readily available to take care of Jensen, and they didn’t really need the money, so part-time hours worked for the time being.

Josh and Mackenzie went back to Dallas a few days after Jensen was discharged but promised to visit soon. Jensen was heartbroken about his parents, but not surprised. He was glad to still have some family, though.

Jeff stopped by every couple of days to check on the boys. He explained to the parish what had happened, and although most of them were supportive, there were a few who just couldn’t agree with supporting them and in turn, left the church for another. There were also a few who didn’t agree but stayed at the church, making snide comments occasionally until they were scolded by Jeff to either keep quiet or find another church because hate would not be tolerated.

After two weeks when Jensen could get around better, Jensen and Jared started going to mass. They were very nervous the first time and were surprised by the amount of support they received from their former parishioners. The children whom they used to work with were happy to see them, even the son of one of the attackers.

“Mom filed for divorce,” was the first thing Daniel said to Jensen. “I hope you know I never said you touched me, I never said anything bad. Dad’s friend saw you and Jared holding hands and it went from there. I told him it didn’t matter, that you’re a good guy. I’m sorry my Dad did this to you,” the kid said, getting emotional. Jensen put his hand on the boy’s shoulder, still afraid to be overly tactile.

“Daniel, this isn’t your fault. You didn’t do this; your father and his friends did. I don’t blame you, buddy,” Jensen said.

The child was so relieved he bit his lip to prevent himself from crying. His mother approached them and also apologized, confirming that she’d filed for divorce.

Jensen’s recovery was going well. It took a few more weeks before he was walking without the cast, and soon after the cast on his hand was removed. He was doing physical therapy three times a week and after all the swelling went down and stitches were removed, he was relieved to see there was very little scarring. The worst of the scarring was the side of his head where the staples had been.

Jensen and Jared cuddled together in bed every night after a few short kisses. Jared was still too afraid to hurt Jensen, but it had gotten to the point where Jensen was frustrated. He was feeling stronger, his ribs were mostly healed and other than being achy and sore, he was almost back to normal. Jared, still, was reluctant every time Jensen kissed him with a little more heat.

That night, Jensen had decided enough was enough. Jared had gone to the store to get his candy fix and get Jensen his gummy bears, both of them deciding to spend the night watching a movie in bed. When Jared got home, he went straight to the master bathroom to shower and get ready for bed. He hauled the bag of goodies into the bedroom and when he saw what was waiting for him, the bag dropped to the floor with a thunk.

Jensen was sprawled completely naked on the bed, his hand slowly jerking his long, hard cock. Jared was frozen in place, his dick filling at record speed in his shorts.

“You just gonna stand there and watch or do you care to join me?” Jensen asked breathlessly.

Jared had never moved so fast in his life, stripping his clothes off as he got to the bed.

“You sure you’re okay, Jensen?” Jared asked, voice husky.

“I’m more than okay, babe. And I’m going insane waiting!” He growled, pulling Jared on to the bed next to him. He pushed Jared flat on his back and rolled on top of him, kissing him hard. Their tongues flicked together and Jared moaned into Jensen’s mouth.

“I want you so fucking bad,” Jared panted between deep, hungry kisses.

Their hands wandered over each other’s bodies, something neither man experienced. They explored with hands and lips, rutting against each other, searching for friction.

“I don’t want to cum like this,” Jared panted.

“How do you want to?” Jensen asked, also fighting for breath.

“I want to cum with you inside me,” he said between licking and kissing Jensen’s neck. Jensen had to grip the base of his cock to stop himself from coming right then.

“Fuck yeah, Jared. I want to fuck you so bad.”

Jared reached for the nightstand and grabbed the lube that they had bought the morning they were moving in together, happy to finally use it.

“How do you want to do this?” Jensen asked, nervously. “I heard it’s easier if you’re on your hands and knees.”

“No, I need to see you. I want to look at your face when you’re buried inside me,” Jared said kissing Jensen again.

Jensen groaned, “You’re going to fucking make me cum before the main event, you’re killing me!”

Jared chuckled and squirted some lube on Jensen’s fingers. Jensen got the hint and rubbed his slick finger against Jared’s hole. He pressed in slowly, twisting his finger a bit and watching Jared’s face for a reaction. Jared was panting and sweating, his lust blown eyes closed tight and biting his bottom lip.

“You okay, sweetheart?” Jensen asked, nervously.

Jared nodded. “More,” he commanded.

Jensen pushed in further and worked his finger in and out until he felt Jared relax. He added a second finger, hesitating when Jared breathed out a harsh, “FUCK!”

As Jensen pause, Jared rocked his hips down. “Don’t stop, don’t you dare stop,” he moaned.

Jensen worked his two fingers in further, twisting and crooking his finger when he finally hit the spot. Jared arched his back and screamed.

“Holy FUCK what was that?”

“Jared, meet your prostate.” Jensen chuckled.

“Oh, fuck, I love you prostate!” Jared sighed.

Jensen stroked his fingers in and out a few more times before he couldn’t take it anymore. “I can’t wait anymore baby, I have to feel you,” he said, devouring Jared’s mouth in a hungry kiss.

He slicked up his thick, weeping cock and pressed it slowly against Jared’s tight hole. He pushed in very slowly, Jared crying out from both pleasure and pain. He took his time, letting Jared adjust along the way until he was all the way inside. He stayed still, waiting for Jared to give him a signal he could move; Jared grinded his hips slowly, encouraging Jensen to move.

Jensen pulled out halfway, then pushed back in slowly and deeper. He did it again, a little harder, and on the third down stroke found Jared’s prostate again which caused Jared to buck up and wrap his legs around Jensen’s waist.

“Fuck me, Jensen. Fuck me!” he cried out.

Jensen slammed back into Jared, drawing almost all the way out and slamming in again, rolling his hips as he did. Jared was writhing beneath him, crying out in pleasure, repeating Jensen’s name as if it were a prayer.

Jensen fucked him harder, raising Jared’s leg just a little to get more leverage and pounding back in, nailing his prostate with every stroke.

“Fuck, I’m so close Jensen!” Jared moaned.

Jensen reached between them and the second his hand wrapped around Jared’s cock, it erupted like a volcano. Ropes of white covered his fist and both of their stomachs and that was all it took to send Jensen over the edge. His hips stilled as his cock spilled into Jared. Jensen bit Jared’s shoulder, crying out his name as he filled him up. He slowly ground his hips through the aftershocks, and as he pulled out, he rolled Jared with him so Jared was in their cuddling position. Jensen reached to the floor with one arm and found a discarded t -shirt to wipe them both off.

“Well, I’d say that was definitely worth the wait,” Jensen teased. “I love you, Jared.”

Jared smiled against Jensen’s chest. “Love you, too. And yeah, it was. Fuckin awesome.”

They fell asleep in each other’s arms and perfectly peaceful.

They woke up in the morning to Jensen’s cell phone ringing. “Hello?” his deep, sleep ridden voice answered.

“Mr. Ackles, this is Felicia Day from the State’s Attorney’s Office. We need to meet about the trial.”

Jensen sat up quickly, waking Jared who was startled and confused.

“I have to go to the trial? Don’t they have a confession and enough evidence?” Jensen asked.

The last thing he wanted was to ever see those monsters again.

“Yes, Mr. Ackles. I’m very sorry. I tried to do this without your testimony, but with this being a high profile hate crime we’re going to need it. We want to put these guys away for a long time and deter others from acting out hate crimes.”

Jensen took a deep, shaky breath, turning his head to meet Jared’s eyes. He was met with a look of love and support and he swallowed hard.

“When do you want to meet?”


	9. Chapter 9

Felicia Day was a feisty red head that took no one’s bullshit. She was determined and smart and honestly, kind of terrifying.

Jensen and Jared liked her immediately.

She explained that Jensen would need to get on the stand and answer a few questions and that the defense really didn’t have a leg to stand on. The worst thing they could do was to try and discredit Jensen’s character, which, she explained was going to be nearly impossible, what with the amount of support from the church, community, and the character witnesses they had on hand if needed. Charlie had also already called upon Chad, Mike and Tom to testify.

The trial had been expedited since it was a hate crime and prominent in the media, but it was still a few months away. Charlie said it would help them to go to trial while it was still fresh in people’s minds.

Jensen wasn’t comfortable with having to testify at all; he just wanted it to go away. But he knew that if he didn’t and they managed to walk away with a light sentence, they could –and would-- hurt someone again, maybe even him, or worse, Jared.

Jensen was finally able to start working alongside Jared; both men were working part time hours because of Jensen’s recovery and the upcoming trial. Jensen had been edgy and nervous, and Jared was getting worried. He knew Jensen had to have some level of PTSD after what had happened to him, despite seeming so well adjusted about it at first… he was almost too well adjusted. Jared could tell that Jensen was spiraling.

So, Jared called Jeff for some guidance. Jeff recommended bringing Jensen to the church for some counseling. He said that although he, personally, was too close to him, Father Collins or Father Pellegrino would be more than happy to council him.

Jensen went, albeit reluctantly. He knew he was on edge and he began having nightmares of the attacks, but that didn’t mean he wanted to go and talk about what happened. He met with Father Mark Pellegrino in Jensen’s former office, which felt weird to him, and after a few moments of tense silence, began talking.

“So, Jensen, you’ve explained to me what happened. You’ve told me that you’ve been having nightmares. But let me ask you… do you think it’s because you’re afraid you’re going to go to Hell for being gay?” Pellegrino almost spit the words at him.

“What? Where the hell did that even come from? No, I don’t think I’m going to go to Hell for being gay. I’m here for guidance, not to be judged. What kind of priest are you?” Jensen sat back, shocked.

“The right kind. The kind that believes in a vengeful God. The kind that believes you are to fear God and those who don’t obey his rules go to Hell. Don’t you think that lying with another man will send you to the pit? You don’t think you deserved what happened to you?”

Jensen stood and shouted, his heart racing in his chest. “How _dare_ you! How can you say that I deserved to be beaten within an inch of my life just because I love a man!? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Father Collins came rushing into the room, immediately stepping between Jensen and the Father who had stood and was pressing into Jensen’s space. “What is going on in here?” he yelled.

“This-- this so called _priest_ is telling me I deserved to be beaten, that I am going to Hell!” Jensen growled, angry tears filling his eyes.

Monsignor Morgan walked in before Father Collins could respond and said, “Mark, you are immediately relieved of your duty and service here at Saint Patrick’s. I will be calling the Bishop, and if I know him, he will either have you sent to monastery or removed from the diocese. This is not how we treat our parishioners, certainly not one that was a fine priest.”

Mark tore his eyes away from Jensen, glaring between the Monsignor and other Father, spit flying from his mouth as he sneered, “You’re all going to Hell, you queers.”

Father Collins hauled back and punched Mark right in his nose just as Jared came in to remove Jensen before he got in a hit of his own.

“Father Collins,” Jeff asked calmly over Pellegrino who as holding his nose on his knees, fuming and hissing obscenities, “please take Jensen to your office. Jared and I will remove Mark,” Jeff gritted through his teeth.

Father Misha Collins took Jensen’s arm gently, guiding him to Jared’s old office, which was right next to Mark’s. He offered Jensen a seat and Jensen swallowed hard, looking up at Misha before asking softly, “Do you think I’m going to Hell, Father?”

Misha rolled his eyes. “If anyone is going to Hell, it’s that piece of shit. I’m sorry he spoke to you that way. He acted so supportive throughout everything; I can’t believe what a prick that guy is.” Misha shook his head, walking around the small desk to sit behind it in his chair. He looked at Jensen and gave him a smile. “So anyway, you’re here for counseling. Can I help?”

Jensen and Father Collins sat and talked for a while, and Father Collins helped Jensen realize that he really hadn’t dealt with the trauma. Instead, he’d just buried it. By the end of their conversation, he agreed to consider a psychiatrist or a therapist to help him through the PTSD. Father Collins also suggested talking to Jared about it; as scary as the trial was to him, talking to his fiancé would provide him with some closure.

Jensen walked out of Father Collins office looking a little better than he had coming into the church that day. He found Jared sitting with Jeff, the pair having left Jensen with Father Collins once they saw they were talking after they’d removed Mark from the premise. Jared gave him a reassuring smile and hugged him before kissing his temple.

“You okay, babe?” he asked softly.

“No. Honestly, Jared, I’m not. But I will be. Let’s go home,” he said entwining his fingers with Jared’s as they walked out of the church.

When they arrived at home, Jared looked at Jensen with concern in his eyes. “Anything you wanna talk about?” he asked tentatively.

“Actually, yes. There is. I need... I need to talk about the attack. I haven’t talked about it with you and I need you to know how I’m feeling, to know what I’m struggling with.” His voice was deep and shaky.

Jared took his hand and led him to their oversized couch. He sat down and pulled Jensen between his legs so his back was to Jared’s chest. Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s waist, shifting as Jensen laid his head back on Jared’s shoulder and sighed.

“Talk,” Jared whispered, kissing Jensen’s temple.

“Okay,” Jensen took a deep breath, “as you know, I was unpacking the car. The furniture guys had just left and I had, like, two boxes left to get out of the trunk. I had been bent over the trunk pulling the larger of the two boxes out and suddenly felt a sharp pain.”

Jensen explained the whole attack to Jared. Everything he could remember, anyway.

“Jared, I really thought I was dying. I was praying not to die. I was so scared and everything was just getting darker... I was in so much pain and I just knew that was it.” He shivered in Jared’s arms, his fiancé tightening his hold around him for a moment but staying silent to let him finish. “Then I woke up in the hospital. That nurse, Alona… the first thing she said to me was, ‘Your super sexy, enormous boyfriend has been sleeping in the waiting room waiting for you to wake up’. All I could think was that I was alive and I would get to see you again.”

Jared pressed his lips to the back of Jensen’s head, and Jensen smiled, letting his eyes fall closed before he continued. “I was pretty drugged up the first several days, so a lot of that’s a blur. The thing with my parents surely didn’t help matters... Did you notice they didn’t once ask if I was okay? They didn’t ask about my injuries or my recovery. They went straight for the kill.” Jensen sighed, sad for a moment thinking about his parents. He didn’t regret telling them to leave, he was just disappointed that they actually did. They didn’t love him enough to accept him.

“Don’t worry about them,” Jared said, as if reading his mind. “You’re better than them. Even Josh and Mac think so, and they love you.”

“I know. Just hurts.”

Jensen felt Jared nod behind him and he reached up, giving Jared’s arm a squeeze, silently thanking him for understanding.

“Anyway, the nightmares didn’t start until I was more lucid. First it was just flashes, then it was more vivid. I kept replaying what they did to me in my dreams and it’s _maddening_ , Jared. Seeing the hate on their faces, hearing the things they called me, accused me of… feeling my bones break as they hit me with metal and iron. I know I need to face them, I know it’s supposed to help give me closure, but I’m terrified,” Jensen nearly whispered.

Jared held him tighter and pressed soft kisses to his cheek. “I’m going to be right there with you. You don’t have to go through it alone. Anytime you need me, you let me know. I love you and I’m not letting you face any of this by yourself.”

Jensen leaned up and kissed Jared softly on his lips. “I know. I love you for it.”

The months went by quickly, and Jensen and Jared were comfortable in their lives and their routine. They had both become full time employees and loved working with the kids at the rec center. They started to become more adventurous in the bedroom, too, figuring out what they liked and what turned each other on. Turned out that Jared loved being the bottom in the relationship and Jensen was happy in his role. They were settled and happy, the only thing looming over them was the trial.

The day of the trial, Jensen was nervous. He was dressed in a crisp black suit, he looked calm and confident, but inside he was terrified. Josh and Mackenzie came up for it and sat quietly in court behind Jensen who sat with Jared, Chad, Mike, Tom, and Jeffrey.

The trial began with the opening arguments. Felicia addressed the jury, telling them what the defense was going to try to pull: how they were going to accuse Jensen, an upstanding citizen and former well-loved priest, of being some kind of pervert or pedophile. She told them they would try to tarnish his years of service to the church and how they would try to make him look like he started the fight. But none of that was true. There were witnesses and facts to prove otherwise. Jensen took Jared’s hand and held tight as Felicia finished her statement.

Then, the defense started in and did just as Felicia anticipated: tried to make Jensen look like the criminal. Jensen held on tighter to Jared’s hand.

By the time they called Jensen to the stand, his palms were sweating and he felt like he was going to throw up. They called on him first, so that if they needed to bring him back later they could, and so that the other witnesses could corroborate his story.

Jensen took the stand and put his hand on the Bible he knew so well. He swore to tell the truth. The prosecution went first but Felicia had coached Jensen on how it would all go down so he was familiar with her questions and how to reply to them.

“Mr. Ackles, can you identify the men who attacked you?” she started.

“Yes. Those three sitting there, Michael Rooker, Travis Wade, and Fred Lehne,” Jensen answered pointing to the three men.

“What were you doing at the time of the attack?” she asked.

“I was pulling a box out of my trunk, moving into my new home,” he replied.

The line of questioning continued. She asked him about the attack, what he could remember. What the men had said to him and what they had used to beat him. She then asked about the injuries he sustained, showing photos to the jury and reading from his medical record. It didn’t take very long before it was the defense’s turn to question him.

The smarmy defense attorney, Justin Hartley, approached the stand.

“Mr. Ackles, how long were you a priest?” he began.

“Twenty-three years,” Jensen answered.

“How many relationships with men have you been in?” he asked.

Jensen looked confused. “Just one, with Jared,” he answered, nervously.

“So you’ve never been involved with another man? Or another boy?” Justin asked.

“No, never,” Jensen answered, seeing quickly where this line of questioning was going.

“Mr. Rooker states that you had an inappropriate relationship with his son, Daniel. Is that true, Mr. Ackles?”

“No, it’s not true,” he stated simply.

“So, it’s not true that you would meet with his son, Daniel, after hours at the youth center at the church?” Justin asked.

“I met with a group of boys sometimes after hours to play basketball,” Jensen answered.

“You never touched Daniel inappropriately? You never forced him to touch you?”

“No. I’ve never done that.” Jensen was getting so upset with what they were insinuating and resisted the urge to find Jared or Felicia’s eyes in the crowd.

“You never looked at those young boys and wanted to touch them, Mr. Ackles? Wanted them to touch you?”

“Objection!” Felicia called out, “Mr. Ackles is not the one on trial here, your honor, and what Mr. Ackles did or didn’t feel is irrelevant due to the fact nothing inappropriate was ever done to these children.”

“Sustained. Hartley, stay on track,” the judge demanded.

“Mr. Ackles, how did you meet Mr. Padalecki?” Justin asked without missing a beat.

“We worked together at the church. We were both priests,” Jensen answered honestly.

“So, you claim do have done nothing inappropriate, yet, you ended up becoming involved with another priest while you were still working for the church?”

“When I felt like my attraction to Jared was going to be a problem, I went straight to my Monsignor and asked him for guidance. He was aware of the situation from the beginning and was supportive. He asked us both to stay until replacements could arrive,” Jensen answered.

“Still, Mr. Ackles, two priests getting involved in a relationship is hardly appropriate. You’re claiming that nothing happened with the kids, but you were clearly already breaking your vows by getting involved with Mr. Padalecki. Where there any other indiscretions, Mr. Ackles?”

“Objection, your honor! Relevancy? Mr. Ackles has already admitted to his relationship with Mr. Padalecki AND also stated that this is the only relationship he’s been in. He’s badgering the witness your honor,” Felicia stated.

“Sustained, get to the relevant questions, Hartley.”

“Nothing further,” Justin said, smirking as he stared down at Jensen before turning away.

Jensen was excused from the stand, afraid that damage had been done even further to his reputation. Justin called Rooker to the stand who immediately claimed Jensen sexually abused his son.

Felicia tore him apart on the stand, proving that Rooker had no evidence to the claims. She then called Daniel, the child in question to the stand, who gladly defended Jensen.

“Father Ackles was never inappropriate with me or any other kid. He was, and is, a mentor and a friend. When my Dad would hit me or would be drunk and screaming at me, my Mom would send me to the youth center because I was always safe with Father Ackles and Father Padalecki. It was my father I wasn’t safe around,” Daniel answered staring his father down.

The rest of the witnesses further proved that Jensen was a completely innocent victim. The three men were convicted of assault and battery, assault with a deadly weapon, attempted second-degree murder, and all of it was proven to be a hate crime. Sentencing was to be done at another hearing, but the judge made it known his recommendation would be to put them away for the longest sentence possible.

After court, Jensen, Jared, his neighbors, and siblings went back to the house to relax. Jensen was mostly healed, but after a couple months the only thing that remained was a slight limp and a few scars.

Jensen and Jared were grilling steaks for their guests and sipping on beer in the middle of their back yard. They all sat around enjoying the Texas heat and ate at the picnic table Jensen had bought for such occasions.

“So, boys, how are the jobs going?” Josh asked when they were finishing the meal.

“Really good! Though, I wish we had more funding for some athletic programs. I feel like the rec center could use it. Jared and I have been looking into how to get some grants and donations to try to get something started there,” Jensen answered.

The last couple months Jared and Jensen had been working side by side to make the youth program the best it could be. Many of the kids from church had started going, and Jeff had referred a lot of them. They explained their jobs to Josh and Mackenzie while their neighbors listened in.

Jensen had donated some of his own money to the center, but since he and Jared didn’t make a whole lot, he didn’t want to use all of his savings in case they needed it later in life. The ten thousand dollars he donated was enough to start buying some athletic equipment, but not enough to start an entire program.

After dinner, the group went inside Jared and Jensen’s home and chatted a while longer over a few more beers. Everyone left around midnight, except Josh and Mackenzie who were staying for the weekend.

The following day, Jensen got a call from Samantha Smith, the head of the rec center telling him that they received an anonymous donation for seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Jensen was stunned, it was more than enough to not only get the athletic program underway, but they could do it in time for fall sports. It was the end of spring, so it would take a lot of work, but they were going to be able to offer recreational sports to their kids!

Jensen told Jared the good news and filled in his brother and sister. He noticed a look on their faces when he explained to them with excitement that he’d be able to do what he hoped for. “It was you, wasn’t it?” Jensen asked his siblings.

“Technically it was Mom and Dad,” Mackenzie said with a grin. “I donate to various charities for them throughout the year, they trust me to pick important causes. Josh verifies them and we donate up to a million a year. We would’ve donated the whole amount to your center, but we had already donated two hundred fifty thousand to _Out Youth_ in Austin. It’ll really piss Mom and Dad off when they find out.” Mackenzie chuckled.

Jensen was so proud of his brother and sister. The fact that they were not only there with him, supporting him, but they took it further and supported a charity for Gay Youth and for the rec center... He may have lost his mother and father, but he’d grown so much closer to his siblings. He realized that all the years in the church, he missed out on being close to his family. He didn’t regret being a priest. He loved the years he was with the church, and it led him to Jared, the man he loved more than anything.

Jared looked at him across the room as if he could sense Jensen’s thoughts and smiled that dimpled smile at him. Jensen winked and Jared laughed before going back to fixing brunch.

Josh and Mackenzie headed back to Dallas the following day with the promise to come back in July for Jared’s birthday. Jared was a little taken aback, because when it was Jensen’s birthday, he didn’t want to celebrate at all. Jared had to talk him into a nice dinner and a small gift. But Jensen was still recovering then and hadn’t been in a very good place emotionally.

Enough time had passed that he was handling his PTSD by going to therapy and being open with Jared, who was patient and understanding. Jared was the best thing to ever happen to Jensen and he looked up at the man he adored and just knew in that moment what he wanted.

“Marry me,” Jensen said, meeting Jared’s eyes across the room.

Jared had a cup of coffee held to his lips, his hazel eyes wide, hair all over the place. He was standing in the kitchen wearing only pajama pants, his chest littered with love bites from the night before. He looked like heaven and Jensen wanted nothing more than to make Jared his forever.

“What?” Jared asked, barely above a whisper.

Jensen smiled and walked over to Jared, taking the coffee mug from his hand and setting it on the counter. He took Jared’s hand in his and dropped to one knee.

“I didn’t plan some big speech, I didn’t even buy a ring yet. I just looked at you and knew that without a doubt, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me, Jared?” Jensen held his breath in anticipation.

Tears sprung to Jared’s eyes. “Yes, Jensen. Yes of course. Come here you big goof.” Jared laughed and cried as he pulled Jensen into his arms and they shared a deep, heated kiss.

Jensen began pulling Jared back to the bedroom and Jared followed willingly. Jensen pushed Jared down on the bed and crawled between his splayed legs. He kissed Jared as if he was starving for it, rolling his hips down so their erections ground against each other. He pulled back and stripped Jared of his pants and boxers then removed his own. Jared was already reaching for the lube.

Jensen worshipped Jared’s body with soft kisses and nibbles. Jared was already writhing beneath him as Jensen kissed his way down his abs and hips. He pushed Jared’s legs apart and licked his swollen balls, moving lower and lower to try something he’d never done before.

He pulled Jared’s cheeks apart, exposing his waiting hole and licked it tentatively. Jared gasped.

“Holy fuck!” he whisper shouted.

Jensen smirked and licked again, pushing his tongue inside and sucking a little at the rim. Jared was whimpered and squirming, gripping the sheets and trying not to grind his ass into Jensen’s face.

“Let go, baby. You need to move, you move. Let me take care of you,” Jensen husked.

Jensen licked, probed, and sucked at Jared’s hole. Jared was pushing back into Jensen’s face and moaning like a whore and it spurred Jensen on even more. He pulled back and climbed up Jared’s body, quickly slicking his aching cock up and slid into Jared in one fluid movement.

Jared arched his back and pulled Jensen close. Jensen began fucking him hard and deep while Jared just held on for the ride, loving every second. Jensen kissed him hard and rolled his hips, their bodies pressed together. Jensen’s stomach rubbing against Jared’s cock giving almost enough friction but not quite. He reached between their bodies and wrapped his strong hand around Jared’s leaking cock, stroking it in time with his thrusts. After a handful of strokes, Jared was crying out Jensen’s name and spilling into his hand. Jared’s body contracting pushed Jensen over the edge and his body shook with the force of his orgasm. Pulse after pulse released inside of Jared and Jensen kissed his fiancé as they came down from their high.

“I’m gonna marry you.” Jared smiled flashing his dimples.

“Bet your sweet ass you are,” Jensen replied, voice sex rough and deep.

The snuggled back into bed, knowing they both had to get up for work but neither of them caring at the moment.


	10. Chapter 10

Jared and Jensen spread their happy news to their friends and family, and Jensen had officially bought an engagement ring for Jared. It was a simple white gold band, encrusted with diamonds. They decided they wanted to get married quickly; neither men were young or naïve, they knew what they wanted and saw no point in a long engagement. They weren’t going to have some big fancy wedding, just a quiet ceremony in their back yard that Jeff would officiate. He couldn’t marry them in the catholic church, but he could still perform the legal wedding ceremony. They decided to get married the weekend after Jared’s birthday, since Josh and Mackenzie would be there.

Jensen had the perfect surprise for Jared’s birthday, something he knew his almost husband wanted desperately. Early that morning he went to go pick up the gift he’d chosen and paid for the week before, wanting to wake Jared up with his surprise. When he arrived at the shelter, he saw the mastiff mix puppy he’d picked out was curled up with a sweet little Sheppard mix.

“She was dropped off the day after you picked him out and they’ve been inseparable ever since,” the woman behind the counter told Jensen.

He sighed and gave a small smile at the pups. “Well, I can’t separate them now. That would just be cruel,” he said as he scratched the girl puppy’s ears.

Jensen collected the dogs and headed home. He’d already bought all the necessities for one puppy and was very happy he had bought the extra-large crate. He stopped and bought a few more chew toys, then rushed home to Jared.

He quickly brought in all the supplies, then went back out to get the puppies from his car. He crept down the hallway and slowly opened their bedroom door, thankful that Jared was still asleep. With a puppy wiggling under each arm, he walked over to the bed and set them down so they could go explore the sleeping human.

Jared felt something wet on his face.

“Jensen,” he mumbled, “are you licking me?” He slowly opened his eyes and nearly sat straight up in shock. “Jensen! What is this?” he asked, adorably confused and not yet coherent.

“Happy birthday, baby!” Jensen grinned.

Jared realized what was going on and reached for Jensen, tugging him down on his lap and both of them carefully avoiding the dogs.

“You got me puppies!” He grinned, kissing Jensen and petting the dogs at the same time.

“I did. I had only planned on this guy, but when I went back this morning this little girl was snuggled up with him and apparently, they’d become buddies. I couldn’t leave her there alone.”

“Aw, Jensen. We have babies! We’re Dog Dads!” Jared beamed.

Jensen groaned. “Is that what people are going to call us?” He scrubbed his hand down his face in mock frustration, causing Jared to smile bigger.

“I love you. Thank you,” Jared said softly, pulling Jensen closer to him to kiss him properly. Well, he tried to, but the male puppy began licking their faces, causing them both to break apart laughing.

“They need names,” Jensen said, smiling still at Jared. “Hm. I think I like Harley for him. What about her?” he asked.

“I like Sadie.”

Jensen shrugged. “Harley and Sadie it is then.”

Jared picked up the puppies and brought them to the living room where he could play with them properly. Jensen stood watching his fiancé. He was so full of love for that man and he was so happy his gift made him light up like a child.

Jeff, Chad, Mike, and Tom came over for dinner that evening. Josh and Mackenzie would arrive later. Jared wanted a low-key birthday celebration since the wedding was only a few days away.

When Jeff walked in the door for dinner, Jared greeted him with a wide smile. “Jensen got me puppies!” He beamed. He was so childlike in his enthusiasm. Jeff chuckled and hugged him.

“He told me he was getting one, didn’t know he got two,” Jeff said kneeling down to greet the newest family members.

The others arrived and Jensen served dinner and a few bottles of wine. They talked about some wedding plans until Jared pulled Chad into the kitchen while the others talked in the living room.

“What’s up Jay?” Chad asked.

“Well, I know I should’ve probably asked you sooner, but this whole thing kind of happened fast and really, if it weren’t for you, Jensen probably wouldn’t be alive. I owe you so much for that. Plus, you’ve kind of become my best friend and I was wondering if maybe you’d be my best man?” Jared rambled.

Chad’s squinty blue eyes shot open wide, well, as wide as they could go.

“What? I mean, of course! Yes. I’d be honored, man. That’s awesome!” Chad all but shouted, pulling Jared into a hug.

Jensen wandered in. “Ah, I see you finally asked him,” he teased.

“Only thing that sucks is there’s not enough time to plan a bachelor party!” Chad whined.

“We wouldn’t want one anyway,” Jared smiled. “We were priests less than a year ago. Bachelor parties really aren’t our thing anyway.”

“Ah, but they’re _my_ thing, Jared. Although this being a gay wedding, I’d suppose you’d want male strippers, so yeah… probably best that it’s not happening.” Chad shuddered.

Josh and Mackenzie arrived later in the evening and Josh was thrilled when Jensen asked him to be his best man.

“I’m sorry Mom and Dad are such assholes. I told them you were getting married and they acted like they didn’t know who I was talking about. I don’t know, man. They might eventually come around, but I doubt it will be soon,” Josh said, sadly.

Jensen thought it would bother him more to not have his parents in his life, but truth be told, he hadn’t really been a part of their lives since he joined the church. Sure, he’d visit from time to time and they would talk on the phone occasionally, but he wasn’t close to his family. Once he left home, he was pretty much on his own. He was happy that he had such a solid relationship with his brother and sister, though.

The preparations for the wedding continued over the next couple days. Mackenzie was given carte blanche when it came to decorating the back yard, and she ordered a wooden arch which she decorated tastefully with tulle and white and red roses. She had an aisle of tan fabric and wooden folding chairs to seat the fifty guests that were invited. They invited their coworkers, some of the families from Saint Patrick’s, and some of the kids and their families that they worked with at the center.

The dinner was a buffet and they hired a bartender for the bar Jensen insisted on installing in the back yard. Tom and Mike built a dance floor and set up a large canopy over it with small tables on the outskirts. There was a place for a DJ to set up at the edge of the dance floor, and Mackenzie decorated every table with centerpieces she made by hand.

The backyard was transformed, and it looked beautiful.

The morning of the wedding, Jared and Jensen were very relaxed. The wedding was going to be in the early afternoon, so Jared got up and went for a run with the puppies while Jensen went and worked out in the garage.

They all ate a small brunch with mimosas and then both of the grooms were sent to separate rooms to get ready. They got into their black tuxes with emerald green ties and matching green vests. Jensen’s hair was spiked up a bit, and Jared’s was brushed back off his face.

Jensen was waiting at the arch with Jeff, Chad, and Josh while Jared escorted Jared down the aisle. An instrumental of Hallelujah played as Jared walked to Jensen and both men’s eyes filled with tears.

Jeff began the ceremony. “We are gathered here on this beautiful summer day to join Jensen Ross Ackles and Jared Tristan Padalecki in holy matrimony. I want to start out by saying that God is not against two people who fall in love. If anyone knew Jared and Jensen from the beginning, from the moment they met like I did, then you’d know that there’s no way God would condemn something so beautiful. I will never forget the day Jared walked into my church. Jensen was speechless. I’m pretty sure he fell in love that very second, and when Jared’s eyes met Jensen’s, I could almost see the sparks fly. I knew then that I would be losing two important members of my team, but I couldn’t be happier for them.”

Jeff continued with the traditional wedding vows, each man repeating them to each other. They exchanged rings and promised each other their love and devotion for eternity.

“And now, I pronounce you husbands. You may kiss.” Jeff smiled.

Jensen reached up and cupped Jared’s face softly in his hands, pulling him down slowly. He wanted to remember this moment. Their lips met in a soft, warm kiss, a trace of tongue and one more small chaste kiss before they pulled back and smiled at each other.

They walked hand-in-hand down their make-shift aisle and onto the back porch for a moment. The photographer they hired posed them for several photos, then included the small wedding party. When it was time for the reception to begin, the DJ announced that people should take their seats.

“Okay ladies and gentlemen, at one of the groom’s request, I would like to introduce you for the first time to Jensen and Jared Ackles!” the DJ announced.

Jensen looked at Jared in shock. Jared just shrugged.

“I had no family before you. You, your brother, your sister, you’re all Ackles. I want to belong to a family,” Jared said, shyly.

Jensen pulled Jared down for a heated kiss. “I love you so much Jared Ackles.”

Harley and Sadie were running around the back-yard reception, being loved on by the guests. Their friends and family enjoyed the reception until well into the night and when they ended their wedding night, sweaty and sated, they were happy and at peace. They couldn’t wait to see what came next.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is it! Hope y’all liked it. Thanks again to lotrspnfangirl for being my beta and doing the art.

Jensen was rushing to get home as Jared sounded panicked when he called him five minutes before. He burst through the front door to find Jared sitting on the couch with Harley and Sadie, now full grown, sitting on the floor at his feet. Sadie jumped up to greet her favorite human and Harley’s tail thumped on the floor, waiting for Jensen to come to him.

“What’s wrong Jared?” Jensen asked, suddenly noticing the small pink bundle Jared was holding. He turned the corner into the room to find Jeff sitting in the recliner also holding a bundle, this one blue.

“Hey, Jensen,” Jared said nervously.

Jeff turned to face Jensen and smiled. “Hey, boy,” was all he said.

Jensen stopped in his tracks. “What’s going on here?” he asked.

“Well,” Jeff said, his voice low and soothing, “these two little sweethearts were dropped off at the church this morning. Safe haven law. Since our church holds private adoptions in correlation with St. Mary’s hospital, these babies are now orphans, up for adoption through Saint Patrick’s. I know you and Jared had been wanting to adopt and so I figured I would bring these two over to see if you were interested. It was a teenage mother and she left a note.”

Jensen sat beside Jared and looked at the baby girl in his arms. She was fair skinned with the smallest tuft of blonde hair. He smiled softly at the baby and then looked at Jeff, reaching his arms out for him to pass the small boy to him. Jeff did so willingly.

Jensen noticed the boy and girl had the same little button nose and blonde hair. Their little faces were round and soft pink lips were pursed in their slumber.

“How do we know she won’t come back?” Jensen asked.

Jeff handed him the note, which he held and read out loud.

_Monsignor Morgan,_

_I have lived in this neighborhood my whole life and I know how wonderful your church is. I used to attend the youth events when Father Ackles was in charge. I am only sixteen, my parents kicked me out, and I have no way to take care of them. I wouldn’t be able to anyway because I can’t give them the life they need. I’m too young. I know your church does private adoptions and it is my wish that you find someone to adopt them._

_I know you have many couples interested in adopting, but if I had my choice, and if they don’t mind twins, I would prefer they go to the Ackles. I’ve heard they were looking to adopt and I know that they will be wonderful fathers to these babies, their babies if they want them. If they aren’t interested, please find them a good home. I won’t be coming back for them. My parents are sending me to some kind of reform school out west. Thank you._

_Jeff looked at Jensen and Jared, studying their faces._

_“Listen guys, I know this is a lot, and it’s not typically how we go about adoptions. But the mother chose you two if you are up for it. We can push the adoption along and, in the meantime, you can foster them to prevent them from going into the system until they’re officially adopted.”_

_Jensen and Jared looked at each other, both had tears welling in their eyes. They had been married for three years and weren’t getting any younger. They had been hoping to adopt soon. Twins was a surprise, but a welcome one._

_“Yes,” they said at the same time._

_Jeff smiled genuinely. “Good.”_

_He explained that he was going to start the paperwork and get them listed as foster parents in the interim. Jeff informed them he only had car seats, there were no clothes, no diapers, cribs or anything else. The babies were three days old and were left with their blankets and the clothes they wore._

_Jeff left them to get the paperwork going and Jared and Jensen took the babies and strapped them in the car seats. They had some shopping to do._

_Hours and thousands of dollars later, the two men arrived back at home. They had called Chad, Mike, and Tom to help them unpack and set up the nursery. The delivery truck arrived a few minutes after them with the cribs, swings, a rocking chair, changing table, dressers, highchairs, pack and plays, and double stroller. In the car they had diapers, clothes, bedding, bottles, toys, formula, wipes and every baby gadget imaginable._

_The men all helped put the cribs together, dressers, and all of the other furniture. The babies had been quiet most of the time, only fussing when they were hungry or dirty. They took turns caring for the infants while they organized things and when they were finished, their neighbors went home to give the sudden new family time to adjust._

_Jensen called his brother and sister and told them what happened and then sat, exhausted, by Jared on the couch. Jared was holding both babies and Jensen made grabby hands for the little girl._

_“She looks like a little angel,” Jensen whispered in awe._

_“Maybe that’s what we should name her,” Jared suggested._

_“Angel? Isn’t that, I don’t know, cheesy?” Jensen smiled._

_“No. She’s our little angel. She’s a gift Jensen, both of them are. I like it. How about Angel Mackenzie Ackles?” Jared offered._

_Jensen beamed. “I think it’s perfect. And Mac will love it.”_

_They both looked at the baby boy. “I like Aidan,” Jared said after a moment._

_Jensen nodded, suggesting hopefully, “Aidan Joshua Ackles?”_

_Jared’s smile shined like the sun. “It’s perfect,” he said and leaned over to kiss his husband softly._

_Harley and Sadie weren’t sure what was going on with the new tiny creatures, they just knew they weren’t allowed too close just yet. The dogs flopped down on their dog beds in the living room._

_They got the babies bathed and fed and put them in their new cribs, turned on the baby monitor then went to bed. They climbed into bed together and began kissing each other softly. Each soft kiss lingered more and more, and they were soon undressed and kissing like they were starving for it._

_Jensen and Jared cut out the foreplay, knowing that at any moment they’d have to tend to one or both babies. Jensen slicked himself up and pushed into Jared who gasped and wrapped his arms and legs around his husband. They rocked together slowly, kissing and nibbling at each other’s necks and ears. Jensen picked up the pace and pounded into Jared, nailing his prostate with every downstroke. Jared reached down and grabbed his aching dick, jacking it hard and fast. After a few tugs, he was gone, moaning into Jensen’s shoulder as Jensen came undone and erupted inside of Jared, growling and biting at Jared’s bottom lip._

_They cleaned up and put on sleep pants for when their new babies woke. As they lay in bed, Jared snuggled up to Jensen and whispered, “We’re dads now.”_

_Jensen pulled him tighter to his body. “Yeah, babe. We are.”_

_The next morning, they called the center and explained to Samantha what had happened. She was thrilled for them, and since they had recently become partial owners of the rec center, it was more than okay that they took a few weeks off to adjust to their new family. In the three years since they were married, they established an athletic program, which Jensen was the head of, and hired coaches and referees. Jared was going back to school to get his degree, taking online classes so he could still work, and he used his experience at the church to get into counseling. He was going to get his degree in psychology and get licensed for the center. The rec center had expanded and offered child care for young parents or single parents who were working or going to school and couldn’t afford day care. Samantha oversaw that and the three of them handled all of the administrative duties._

_Josh and Mackenzie came to visit shortly after and both absolutely did not cry when they were told the babies full names and asked to be Godparents._

_The adoption took just under a year to become official, and Angel and Aidan were happy and well-adjusted babies. They were the light of their father’s lives and they made the Ackles family complete._

_60_


End file.
